As lame as it is for me to admit, I think I will always long for MySpace ... and and ICQ and MSN Messenger. Gosh, the internet was so much better when I was in my late teens. It hadn't yet become oversaturated with people's stupid opinions and cat videos; we were all just there to chat with the cute boys from school until our moms needed to use the phone line. And trust me, there was a science behind finding the perfect away message to post on your AIM account so that your peers would think we were brooding and deep. 

Nostalgia, party of 1.

Every now and then it's fun to relive the days of yore, and one of my FAVORITE things about MySpace was posting those fun little surveys that let your friends get to know you better (because it's not like you saw them all day, every day at school or anything).

And believe it or not, I found an archaic online survey that I'm now going to fill out for your reading pleasure ... or displeasure depending on how much you hated the early 2000s. 

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?

To my husband: "I just saw a bird straight-up murder a worm on the sidewalk."

B) What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom?

From one of my best girlfriends: "Ooo! Tell me all about it over wine."

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?

A morning person I am not ... at least not during the week. I tend to wake up earlier on the weekends for some reason. But during the week? I wake up around 7:30 to be in the office at 9. 

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?

Honestly, yes because people be crazy. I do okay walking in our neighborhood with the dog, but I try to stay on well-lit streets. 

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?

Go for a run. I don't feel like I can fully relax until I've worked out. And if I'm being perfectly honest, a glass of wine helps, too. 

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?

A few moments ago! Joey came bursting into the bedroom to lick my face and prove he just had his teeth brushed by Clayton. Then Clayton kissed me goodnight. I love my boys.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?

I didn't. I was a pretty good kid. I only got the occasional scolding for talking to my friends too much during class. But there was this one time a group of us got sent to the principal's office because someone at our lunch table put butter on the wall ... 

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?

I love my job. It's 40 hours of creativeness every week. Plus, I work downtown and am within walking distance of everything I love about Bloomington. 

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?

That's what she said. 

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?

I was offered cocaine once at a party a looooooooong time ago. 

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?

Yes and no. I feel like people who become regular fixtures in my life undoubtedly rub off on me in some ways, but no one has ever come into my life and made me do a total 180. If someone can completely alter my way of thinking at the age of 29, then clearly I never had a sturdy belief system to begin with. 

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?

This survey is clearly for a 14 year-old. And no, I've never done any drugs of any kind. Unless you count Sour Patch Kids, in which case I am an addict. 

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.

A sturdy handshake. Don't your dare limp-wrist me. 

N) When did someone last admit romantic feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?

I've been with the same man for 12 years. So I'm going to say that it was 12 years ago and yes, the feeling was mutual. Otherwise the last decade was a total waste of time. 

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?

I think about the future a lot ... and the past because sometimes I think I am completely incapable of living in the moment. 

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?

Every time I log into Facebook. 

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?

Strangely, yes. I'm not a touchy-feely person, but I am competitive and I will make sure I touch you before you touch me.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?

To my husband and dog, yes. Absolutely. To my chinchilla and everyone else on the planet? Not so much. 

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?

T) What are you looking forward to?

Well, learning how to roll my own cigarettes now ... 

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?

As most of you know, I have a tattoo on my right foot and I've considered getting another, but I'm mostly undecided and most likely will not because I can't think of anything else I'd be happy with for the rest of my life. 

V) Are you mentally strong?

I like to think so. I need to develop thicker skin in certain aspects of my life for sure, but a lot of the crap I went through growing up kind of gave me an edge. 

W) Are you physically strong?

Yes, because I can do like, 10 girl push-ups. 

And yes because fitness and physical strength are important to me and I work at it every day. 

X) Do you think you’re a good person?

This is a stupid question. First of all, no one is going to come right out and say that they think they're a bad person and secondly, it sounds totally self-indulgent to say that you think you're a good person. I will say that I try to be in a good person and that I try to do what's right and what is helpful and what is compassionate. But I can also be a total a$$hole because I'm a human being and sometimes I have PMS. 

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.

I want to have 100% confidence that I am fine and wonderful and amazing just the way I am and to stop worrying (and caring) about whether someone "gets" me or likes me because I like me and I'm almost 30 and it's time to get my s**t together. 

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?

Wow, way to end on a totally flat note.

I eat cereal most mornings because I'm always way too hungry to ever skip breakfast and cereal is amazing. 



  1. I totally remember the butter incident, it sadly wasn't in my lunch break though. I also remember butters staining the balcony ceiling in the lunch room. Is that when they took away balcony privileges and squished us all into the main area? Also, what was up with those butter packets, they were so strange.


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