An ode to Blanche Devereaux
I'm a huge fan of office festivities. Today marked our department's "Ugly Christmas Sweater" celebration, and I'm not one to turn down an opportunity to dress silly. I love a good theme.
Since I was teaching until 9 last night, I didn't have time to run to Goodwill to pick out my sweater, so I asked Clayton if he would kindly go select an ugly Christmas sweater for me. When I got home from class, I eagerly pawed at the plastic bag sitting on the table to see what my beloved bought me to wear to around my colleagues in the spirit of Christmas.
This. He bought me this.
"They didn't have any ugly Christmas sweaters left, so I just bought you an ugly sweater."
Ugly sweater INDEED.
Not only is the sweater hideous, it's 2 or 3 sizes too big. The ever-flattering shoulder pads were too bulky to stay in place and kept slipping behind me. I walked around with a perpetual case of Back Boobs.
When one of my supervisors spotted me in my holiday garb, he didn't stop laughing at me for a solid five minutes.
The worst part? One of my students thought I bought this sweater as a fashion statement and was wearing it ironically, like a hipster.
"Nope," I replied cheerfully. "Just channeling my inner Golden Girl."
The sweater was not just obviously sexy, it was itchy and SUPER hot. By lunch, I couldn't take it anymore; I went home and changed. Then this afternoon, whilst sitting in my office with a student, the same supervisor interrupted my appointment to scold me for taking it off. He said I won Christmas in that thing and should wear it every day.
It's $4 well spent.
Have a great weekend!