Dear Facebook Friends

Friday, September 27, 2013

Day 19 of Blogtember (I've skipped a few days): An anonymous letter to your Facebook friends. Be as snarky as you'd like. (But don't include people's real names.) 

This topic could really get me in trouble as many of my readers click links to my blog through Facebook. I would never name any names, nor would I ever divulge any identifiable information that could cause any individual to even speculate that I was specifically referring to them, but still! This feels mean. 

Oh well ...


Sorry for the rough language, but it needed saying.

Dear Facebook friends, 

My current friends list boasts a modest 456 people (many of which were added between the years of 2004 and 2008 when we had that one class together at IU and then never spoke again), but a healthy 30% of you have been removed from my newsfeed. Why? Because I'm far too passive to ever actually DELETE you from my friends list, but I find your posts annoying enough that I don't want to see everything you have to say all the time. 

Likewise, I'm not naive enough to believe that I haven't been removed from other people's newsfeeds. I can be super obnoxious, especially about running and how often I post pictures of my baked goods (and you may even find the daily links to my blog insufferable). I get it, and it doesn't offend me in the slightest.

People who post frequent pictures of their dogs are among my favorite friends. Trust me, I think everything your dog does is adorable, too.

Likewise, to the people going through weightloss programs, school or any other big life changes: I'm always interested in updates. Even if I don't "like" or comment on everything you're saying, I am rooting for you!

To those who write in Ebonics or obsessively use hashtags (FACEBOOK IS NOT TWITTER), consider yourselves removed from my newsfeed. 

To those who post status updates multiple times in an hour: Stop it. Unless you're a news correspondent reporting from the scene of a crime, your day is not that interesting.  

Also, stop liking your own posts. I think I'm witty and hilarious all the time, but you don't see me giving myself the thumbs up when I post a new status update. It's like laughing at your own jokesdon't do it!

Furthermore, it's totally cool to express political opinions on social media, but don't be a dick about it. It's entirely possible to express an opinion or belief without bringing another person or group down in the process. In fact, anything you say becomes instantly irrelevant to me when you use foul language or insult the opposing viewpoint in the process.

In conclusion, I will never, ever want to play Candy Crush. So stop sending me invites. 

Love,


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5 comments

  1. I love the weight loss/healthy goals updates too - especially when the commitment has been long-term and the person has found success, not like "day two of my new diet and exercise routine!" or "I haven't smoked in 24 hours. I'm really quitting this time!" My main complaint, (which I just complained about, so sorry for bringing it up again) is people who use Facebook like Pinterest. They don't realize that by the time they post their inspirational quote or dessert recipe, I've seen it at least 5 times on my news feed already. And it makes me hungry :D

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  2. Haha, 'liking' your own posts really gets me, too. I always wonder if it was an accident?? I agree... I love seeing positive posts and rooting for people, too. And I hardly ever delete anyone, it's like I'm afraid of hurting their feelings, even though they would most likely never find out or even care. I have hidden quite a few though. :)

    On a completed unrelated note, I love that you have listed the books that you read on your sidebar. I love stealing ideas from other people to add to my to-read list!

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  3. I am completely in the same boat when it comes to deleting people! Many people access my blog through Facebook too and I'm so worried that they'll know I've deleted them when they go searching for my blog link because it didn't show in their news feed. As I write this I can't help but think, "really why do I care if they know" but for some reason I just do so they shall remain hidden instead :)

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  4. ha ha ha I always like my own posts. Then again I laugh at my own jokes.

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