Don't take it personally if I don't like you
Then I stopped myself. I'm not a teenager anymore and finding out that someone doesn't like me or want to hang out with me doesn't deliver the devastating blow that it used to. Back in the day, if I found out someone was speaking poorly of me, it used to rip me apart. Now as a
And it's pretty rewarding to finally be at a place where I'm far more concerned about what I think of me rather than what other people think of me.
I've read numerous magazine articles from interviews with celebrities gushing about how much more confident and self-assured they became in their 30s. I used to kind of think that was hogwash because clearly they'll say whatever age they're currently at is "the best age", but as I get closer to 30 myself (I just felt faint typing that), I'm starting to get what they're talking about. I used to be SO hung up on my flaws and was overly self-critical; the mental list of things I needed to fix about myself was never-ending. But in the past few years (heck, maybe even in the past 12 months), I felt a shift from perpetual self-loathing to a general acceptance.
Like most people, there are things about myself (perceived character flaws) that I don't like, but I can't do anything about some of them and I've stopped beating myself up for it. For example, I have a habit of saying stupid, awkward things to fill silence and every once in a while I'll say the kind of thing that has me laying in bed that night like, "What the HECK was that, Courtney?" But instead of looking at it as an obnoxious trait that I absolutely NEED TO FIX in order to be loveable, or socially acceptable, I kind of see it as an endearing quality. I want you to be comfortable, so I'll say something stupid and take one for the team so there isn't a lull in conversation.
So to the person who found my blog obtrusive or lame enough to warrant going through the trouble of unsubscribing,