Don't take it personally if I don't like you

I logged into my account this morning and saw that my blog lost a follower overnight. My initial reaction was to get all upset and wonder if I said something that might have offended or irritated them. I read through my blog, rehashing my previous post and looking for anything obnoxious that might drive people away. I agonized over it for about 30 seconds.

Then I stopped myself. I'm not a teenager anymore and finding out that someone doesn't like me or want to hang out with me doesn't deliver the devastating blow that it used to. Back in the day, if I found out someone was speaking poorly of me, it used to rip me apart. Now as a mature slightly mature adult, I've adopted a "Well, that's their problem" kind of attitude. I'm finally secure enough in myself to know that I always have good intentions. My blog's not for everyone; I'm not everyone's cup of tea.

And it's pretty rewarding to finally be at a place where I'm far more concerned about what I think of me rather than what other people think of me.

I've read numerous magazine articles from interviews with celebrities gushing about how much more confident and self-assured they became in their 30s. I used to kind of think that was hogwash because clearly they'll say whatever age they're currently at is "the best age", but as I get closer to 30 myself (I just felt faint typing that), I'm starting to get what they're talking about. I used to be SO hung up on my flaws and was overly self-critical; the mental list of things I needed to fix about myself was never-ending. But in the past few years (heck, maybe even in the past 12 months), I felt a shift from perpetual self-loathing to a general acceptance.

Like most people, there are things about myself (perceived character flaws) that I don't like, but I can't do anything about some of them and I've stopped beating myself up for it. For example, I have a habit of saying stupid, awkward things to fill silence and every once in a while I'll say the kind of thing that has me laying in bed that night like, "What the HECK was that, Courtney?" But instead of looking at it as an obnoxious trait that I absolutely NEED TO FIX in order to be loveable, or socially acceptable, I kind of see it as an endearing quality. I want you to be comfortable, so I'll say something stupid and take one for the team so there isn't a lull in conversation.

So to the person who found my blog obtrusive or lame enough to warrant going through the trouble of unsubscribing, bite me rock on. I hope you find a different blog to read. It stinks that you are unaware that this is best blog in the history of the internet, but to each his own.

I kid.


  1. It wasn't me! haha I follow you on feedly :) It's my new google reader. Anyway seriously don't sweat it. I get what you're saying about getting closer to 30, actually it reminds me a little bit of something I saw off of buzzfeed if you need a good laugh.

    I have learned to just let stuff roll off of my back a lot easier. Life is too short to worry about such matters.


Post a Comment