You had ONE job

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

When I came home from work yesterday evening, our brand new water heater was installed and ready to go. I was so happy, I wanted to cry. This was seriously the longest I've gone without showering since my family traveled to Wyoming in 2004 and we didn't shower for 4 days because we were camping in the mountains.

But last night, after admiring our shiny, perfectly capable water heater, I ended up taking a cold shower of all things because I just had a particularly sweaty work out and the idea of standing under hot water made me feel faint.

The irony is not lost on me.

After I published yesterday's post, I got a few comments and text messages from friends who reminded me that we area always more than welcome to use their shower anytime. I'm truly flattered by the number of people who wouldn't mind us being naked in their homes.

Well, it looks like softball is going to cancelled yet again tonight. Clay's first game of the season was cancelled due to wet field conditions yesterday and I just checked the softball hotline and my 8 and Under girl's practice has been called as well. Looks like there is nothing left for the hubs and I to do tonight except make a pizza and watch The Office on Netflix.
Now, I know I'm really late to the Dunder Mifflin party in Scranton, PA and only just started watching the series this year, but I was completely blindsided when Michael Scott left the company. Like, I must have been living under a rock when this season originally aired because I had no idea. I remember hearing news that Steve Carell was leaving the show back in 2011, but I must have filed that information away under "Do not care" because I didn't watch the show at the time.

There have only been 3 instances where I've cried watching The Office. The first time was when Jim FINALLY got around to asking Pam out on a date. The second was when Michael proposed to Holly. The third and most recent time was when Michael was about to board the airplane to Colorado (even though he told everyone he wasn't leaving until the next day) and Pam rushed through the gate to tell him goodbye.

BAWLED. MY. EYES. OUT.

Goodness gracious, I get far too invested in my shows.

Oh, and I also cried during the following clip. But that was only because I was laughing too hard:



Who doesn't love Kevin?

Okay, so I have a small confession of sorts. I haven't done a confessions post in awhile because, quite frankly, I haven't had anything interesting or applicable to confess. However, after helping out with our giant open enrollment meeting for health insurance on yesterday morning, I realized that I have a strange habit and maybe you do, too!

Confession: I freak out about the smallest, dumbest things.

I know, I know, this isn't really new information for anyone who knows me, but on Tuesday morning I realized just how bad this problem is.

I had an accelerated heart rate for 2 hours because of a power point clicker.

A POWER POINT CLICKER.

When I got to the auditorium, I took my seat in the very front row in an effort to offer support and encouragement to my boss who was responsible for giving a presentation on our employee benefits. He doesn't exactly  love public speaking and we all know that public speaking makes me have to use the bathroom frequently, so he totally had my sympathy.

After helping him put the presentation together the previous day, I assumed I got off scot-free and could just sit back, relax, and enjoy an overview of our employee benefits (and probably start day-dreaming about baked goods).

I waved at him and whispered "Good luck!" and he responded by handing me a power point clicker and saying, "I need you to run the power point. So that means you have to pay attention."

I was suddenly afraid I'd forget how to pay attention.

The power point clicker had exactly three buttons: one button to turn the power point off, one button to advance a slide, and one button to go back a slide.

That was 3 buttons too many. 

It wasn't rocket science, but I panic and obsess so much about making mistakes (especially very public mistakes) that I've developed the amazing ability to make the most menial tasks impossibly complicated.

What if I click too fast and confuse my boss? What if I lose track of which slide he's on? 

(Let's pause and reflect on the fact that I am a college-educated woman.)


I knew it was ridiculous, but I couldn't stop fretting. I did the exact same thing during my senior journalism presentation and guess what, I DID screw up the clicking! (But in my defense, I was also hungover.)

For the duration of his presentation (they were about 60 slides), I had my pointer finger locked over the "advance slide" button. A bead of sweat trickled down my back as I tried my best to focus on what my boss was saying so I'd be ready to click over to the next slide when he gave me a nod.

Was that a head nod or was he just trying to move his hair out of his face while holding the microphone? Wait, he has a crew cut. So that had to be a nod. Or was it a nervous tick? CRAP. WHAT SLIDE ARE WE ON AGAIN?

My blood pressure didn't return to normal until our health insurance representative took the microphone and my boss handed the clicker over to her. On Monday, I had assembled the various vendors' power point presentations in such a way that they were all in the same file. So I was no longer worrying about my duties as offical power point clicker, but now I was freaking out about other wildly unlikley scenrios.

Did I accidentally insert a picture of boobs or a butt crack into one of the slides? What if my computer accidentally inserted the F-word randomly into some of her or the other vendors' paragraphs? Did I put the unedited version of "Thrift Shop" as the background music?

All of those questions could be answered with a confident "No", but when you're an irrational worrier, sometimes your mind wanders to irrational places.

But there were no boobies or butt cracks. The F-word was never uttered. And there certainly wasn't any music accompanying any of the presentations.

I did my job and I did it well.

However, I did accidentally leave an automatic transition feature on one of the slide presentations and it took the vision insurance rep a few tries to click back to the slide she was still talking about. My boss jumped to her rescue and fixed the problem in seconds, but as he returned to his seat next me, he looked at me with an expression of "You had ONE job ..."


Do you let yourself freak out about ridiculous things like that?

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