Courtney Confessions

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

 
  • I can't even put into words how much I detest fighting and violence. It's immature, shows a complete lack of self-restraint, and is totally unnecessary 99.9% of the time.

    "Dude, did you just bump into me at this crowded college bar? Come at me, bro! Come at me!"


    *punches in the face*


    Guys, contrary to popular belief, getting into scraps with other guys for bogus reasons is not a turn-on for women. It's quite the opposite, really. Fist fighting doesn't make you the bigger man, it makes you a moron.

    Unless of course you're fighting to defend my honor. Then by all means, fight to the death.

So yummy!
  • I've made banana vegan muffins twice in the last week because I CANNOT. GET. ENOUGH. OF. THEM! Who knew a vegan recipe with like, all of three ingredients could be so sweet and delicious? Not to mention, making muffins from scratch is a total first to me and it's rare that I nail something on the very first try (Ha! That's what she said ...). I didn't set out with the intention of using a vegan recipe, but my bananas were starting to go bad and I was out of eggs. Luckily, many vegan recipes require very little ingredients, so it was a win-win! While my muffins don't even belong in the same sentence as my mother-in-law's chocolate chip banana muffins, it's definitely a nice alternative to tie us over while we wait for her to make us another batch. ;)

  • The other day, Clayton brought it to my attention that I have very strange phobias. Admittedly, I do (*ahem* giant squid *ahem*), but I just assumed everyone else did, too. I made the mistake of telling him I have a chronic fear of my steering wheel's air bag detonating into my face for no reason while I'm driving. He just stared at me really intently for several seconds and said, "You know, you don't have to say everything you think out loud, right?"

    But what if the people at the car factory put the airbag in wrong? What if my car was assembled by the guy who was super pissed off with company politics and decided to "stick it to the man" one last time by installing a defective airbag? That would be thousands of dollars in orthodontia right out the window (quite literally, in fact).

  • On Monday afternoon I made a stop in the ladies room to relieve my bladder of the copious amounts of Diet Dr. Pepper and water I'd be swilling all day. While taking care of business in a stall, a woman came barging into the restroom and apparently ran into another woman on her way out. The two exchanged a "Oh! You scared me! I didn't see you!" and continued their separate ways. Well, the new woman entered the stall next to me and began talking about how bumping into that other woman nearly gave her a heart attack. I replied with a brief "ha ha!" (I'm not one to chat while I tinkle). But the woman KEPT TALKING ABOUT IT. I inserted a few more giggles to be polite and even said, "Yeah" a few times in agreement. Then suddenly, I HEARD ANOTHER VOICE. That woman was NOT talking to me, she was talking to her friend who was taking a wiz in the adjacent stall. Apparently it was a mute friend who had tramped into the bathroom behind Susie Heart Attack without making a sound, like some kind of mime sidekick. I was so mortified that I was trying to maintain a conversation that I was absolutely NOT a part of that I totally panicked ... and pretended like I was hanging up a conversation on my cell phone ... while I was on the toilet. Why? Because I was far more comfortable wearing the label of the girl who takes cell phone calls in a bathroom stall rather than the label of the creepy girl who butts into random conversations while in a bathroom stall.
Do you have anything you'd like to get off your chest today?

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6 comments

  1. I won't lie.. I have that same fear of airbags! I swear to God!

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    1. I also have a constant fear that when I get a gas can of gas for the lawnmower my car will explode while I'm driving. And I am less than a mile from the gas station. I panic and drive like 20mph. And once I was smoking in the garage and there was a pan of gasoline on the ground WAY away from me and I panicked so bad the fumes would combust I had to put my cigarette out and then go outside to relight it. Ironically two days later the roommate's step dad was out there pouring the pan of gas into the lawnmower with a lit cigarette in his mouth!

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    2. Oh my gosh, me too! Mine's not nearly that bad, but whenever I pump gas, I worry that if I get any gas on my hands and then someone later lights a cigarette near me, I'll explode! ha ha

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  2. My not-so-irrational fears include:

    1.) Clowns (those freaking things are terrifying and will eat your soul)
    2.) Being sneaked up on. My boss just did this a few minutes ago and I almost cried.
    3.)Using words in the incorrect context. That may be a bit irrational. It actually pains me to be corrected on word usage/pronunciation. I don't know why...

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    Replies
    1. 1.) Clowns are of the devil. I agree with that whole-heartedly! They're cutsie smiles? Terrifying. I don't trust anything who has to have it's smile PAINTED on.
      2.) HA! I'm the same way with surprise tickels from my husband. He came up behind me in the grocery store and poke under my armpit while I was reaching for a can, and I punched him in the stomach.
      3.) OH MY GOSH! I TOTALLY GET THIS! I AM TERRIFIED OF LOOKING STUPID! Do you know how many times I have to google words for this blog!? The first time I used "waxed poetic", I had to research it for like 15 minutes!

      I love your comments!

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    2. AH! I hate clowns too! Along with those people who dress in character/mascot costumes ... you know like Mickey Mouse or something. FREAKS ME OUT!

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