- I can't even put into words how much I detest fighting and violence. It's immature, shows a complete lack of self-restraint, and is totally unnecessary 99.9% of the time.
"Dude, did you just bump into me at this crowded college bar? Come at me, bro! Come at me!"
*punches in the face*
Guys, contrary to popular belief, getting into scraps with other guys for bogus reasons is not a turn-on for women. It's quite the opposite, really. Fist fighting doesn't make you the bigger man, it makes you a moron.
Unless of course you're fighting to defend my honor. Then by all means, fight to the death.
- I've made banana vegan muffins twice in the last week because I CANNOT. GET. ENOUGH. OF. THEM! Who knew a vegan recipe with like, all of three ingredients could be so sweet and delicious? Not to mention, making muffins from scratch is a total first to me and it's rare that I nail something on the very first try (Ha! That's what she said ...). I didn't set out with the intention of using a vegan recipe, but my bananas were starting to go bad and I was out of eggs. Luckily, many vegan recipes require very little ingredients, so it was a win-win! While my muffins don't even belong in the same sentence as my mother-in-law's chocolate chip banana muffins, it's definitely a nice alternative to tie us over while we wait for her to make us another batch. ;)
- The other day, Clayton brought it to my attention that I have very strange phobias. Admittedly, I do (*ahem* giant squid *ahem*), but I just assumed everyone else did, too. I made the mistake of telling him I have a chronic fear of my steering wheel's air bag detonating into my face for no reason while I'm driving. He just stared at me really intently for several seconds and said, "You know, you don't have to say everything you think out loud, right?"
But what if the people at the car factory put the airbag in wrong? What if my car was assembled by the guy who was super pissed off with company politics and decided to "stick it to the man" one last time by installing a defective airbag? That would be thousands of dollars in orthodontia right out the window (quite literally, in fact).
- On Monday afternoon I made a stop in the ladies room to relieve my bladder of the copious amounts of Diet Dr. Pepper and water I'd be swilling all day. While taking care of business in a stall, a woman came barging into the restroom and apparently ran into another woman on her way out. The two exchanged a "Oh! You scared me! I didn't see you!" and continued their separate ways. Well, the new woman entered the stall next to me and began talking about how bumping into that other woman nearly gave her a heart attack. I replied with a brief "ha ha!" (I'm not one to chat while I tinkle). But the woman KEPT TALKING ABOUT IT. I inserted a few more giggles to be polite and even said, "Yeah" a few times in agreement. Then suddenly, I HEARD ANOTHER VOICE. That woman was NOT talking to me, she was talking to her friend who was taking a wiz in the adjacent stall. Apparently it was a mute friend who had tramped into the bathroom behind Susie Heart Attack without making a sound, like some kind of mime sidekick. I was so mortified that I was trying to maintain a conversation that I was absolutely NOT a part of that I totally panicked ... and pretended like I was hanging up a conversation on my cell phone ... while I was on the toilet. Why? Because I was far more comfortable wearing the label of the girl who takes cell phone calls in a bathroom stall rather than the label of the creepy girl who butts into random conversations while in a bathroom stall.