In honor of hearing that perfume is made from whale vomit last night on the radio (apparently whale vomit contains chemical properties that allow scent to linger on your skin.Yum!), I thought I’d make today’s Things I Love Thursday post all about my beauty routine! I know, I know. If you see me on a daily basis you’re probably shaking your head and asking, “What beauty routine?” And you’re right to be skeptical because I look gross 99% of the time. I’ve accepted that as a fact of my life, as should you. But the other 1% of the time, I pull out all of the stops in an effort to fool the masses into believing that I’m actually a lady and worthy of being taken out in public by my husband.
This past winter I shelled out a decent amount of money for a quality skin care system from Clinque and while I’m totally smitten with the moisturizer (although I’m surprised it doesn’t contain SPF), I’m not very impressed with the beauty bar that’s supposed to scrub the dirt, oil and zits off my face like a magic wand. If anything, I feel like the beauty bar is actually clogging my pores more and bringing all my ickies to the surface of my skin … and then just leaving them there for the whole world and Jesus to see.
So I gave up on the beauty bar completely. Instead, I am now using the absolute best face wash of all time that has kept my skin clearer and smoother than any product I’ve ever tried in my entire life (even during my dreaded “special lady time” each month). And you know what else? It’s the cheapest one, too.
I use anti-bacterial bar soap on my face.
Yup, that’s my secret.
The wet, squishy nugget of soap that your husbands and boyfriends slide around their nether-regions each morning can clear up your troublesome acne in a matter of days. Sure, it’s a little drying and can leave your face feeling tight and pinched, but that’s why God created a vast array of face creams and oil-free moisturizers. I use an anti-bacterial bar of soap on my face in the shower every morning followed by a few sweeps of my Clinique toner and a pump of moisturizer and then ta-da! I am good to go!
Being cursed with fine hair means that all of the hair on my is thin and wispy, not just the hair on my head. That being said, I need all the help I can get in the eyelash department and you can bet your bottom dollar that I never, ever leave my house without mascara (I even wear it to all my races). Unlike Clayton, I wasn’t naturally blessed with long, luxurious eyelashes that can graze my brow bones when I have my peepers open, but I have perfected the art of faking it! That’s where my favorite make-up product steps in: Maybelline’s Define-a-Lash Lengthening Mascara. This little green tube of lash-tastic wonderment is a lifesaver! I’ve been wearing this product for years, and I refuse to switch to another brand because this is the only mascara that has ever warranted compliments from my friends. With this mascara I have been told that I have “really, really long eyelashes”, which is a complete lie because my natural eyelashes are just like my legs—short and stubby. I have you all so fooled!
After my cousin passed away in 2007 from cancer that originated from melanoma, I’ve been somewhat terrified about fake-and-baking at indoor tanning facilities. I used tanning beds throughout high school for all of my proms and for every spring break trip during college, but the fear of developing cancer or aging prematurely has scared me out of continuing this routine. I never venture outside for a run nor do I hit the beach for sunbathing without lots and lots of SPF. But even though I feel better about protecting my skin as an adult, the vain part of me misses the bronzed glow I used to get from those UV rays.
Since the weather still isn’t warm enough for laying out by the pool and I don’t want to waste healthy skin cells or money on the tanning bed, I’ve turned to the assistance of gradual self-tanning lotion to help me get by until bikini season. Now, I don’t expect amazing results from a lotion, but I have found one brand in particular that gives me a modest glow that doesn’t smell like complete garbage or stain my clothes.
Nivea’s Sun-Kissed Firming Lotion provides the subtle hint of color I need rather cheaply and effortlessly (although the "Firming" part is laughable because nothing can help this girl's cellulite). I simply smooth it over my body after toweling off after a shower, wash my hands, and then wait for the lotion to fully absorb into my skin before dressing. I haven’t had any mishaps with the lotion staining my clothes and it really does work! My favorite part? This lotion leaves a light, citrus scent on my skin, not a “Oh my gosh, I can smell each and every chemical it took to make this lotion” kind of a scent.
So, those are the pivotal steps in my daily beauty routine, aside from the incessant amount of plucking and shaving that need not be mentioned on the interwebs. My beauty regime is nothing major, nothing too wildly exciting, but it gets the job done (Clayton hasn’t requested me to put a paper bag over my head quite yet). I’m always willing to try new products and tips, so if you have any you’d like to share, just let me know!