Ten lords a-leaping (P90X Plyometrics)

Since I’m blogging today, last night’s P90X plyometrics session obviously didn’t kill me, but it did kind of maim me. I woke up with pain in my lower back that’s making me feel aggressive and angst-y, but I think I would have been much worse for wear this morning had I actually given the workout my all. Rather, I treated last night’s cardio session much like I did my first 2 years of college and totally half-assed it. I'm running a 10k and then 6 more miles back-to-back on Saturday and I don't want to do anything silly to jeopardize that in the meantime!

The workout was essentially lots of squats and lunges around my in-laws’ basement in an effort to help me jump higher and stronger. Since I don’t have aspirations of becoming a professional basketball player or a pole vaulter, I have little use for being able to jump like Shaq. So I didn’t exactly go out of my way to make sure I was doing each and every exercise to the best of my ability. Plus, I already have thunder thighs from over 10 years of softball and volleyball—let’s not make things harder for my skinny jeans, okay?

^^Do you see that? I think at this point in the routine
I was just jogging in place and laughing.

I only flipped off Tony Horton twice, but suffering through the entire 60 minute workout only confirmed my suspicions that I completely hate working out to a DVD. In fact, I detest it. First of all, I don’t like someone with washboard abs and vein-y calves telling me what to do in my own home. And secondly, I can’t stand those same freakishly jacked fitness experts drowning out the sound of my grunts and moans with cheesy jokes or overly peppy statements of, “You can do it! Only 1,000, 000 more reps until you look half as good as I do!” Workout DVDs are so not my thing. 

Clayton approached the plyometrics workout as a seasoned veteran, having done the workout so many times that he had Tony’s stupid catch phrases and lame jokes memorized. He breezed through each move with expertise and finesse, occasionally punching the air in tandem to his squats for extra movement and additional calories burned. I, on the other hand, leaped around the basement like a wounded ballerina way past her prime, all the while complaining about how much I hate my life. Clayton finished the 60 minute session with dark rings covering his sweatshirt and pools of sweat pouring down his face. Me? I wasn’t even glistening. Me, the girl who sweats bullets and experiences an elevated heart rate when she's just laying down couldn’t even muster a damp brow or an ampit stain. I’m used to finishing my runs with completely soaked clothes and socks, so completing P90X almost bone-dry was horribly disappointing. 

I think I'll stick to my running and sloppy calisthenics, thank you.


  1. LOL I love this post! The P90X recap cracked me up!

  2. Courtney. I can barely contain myself, I'm so excited to tell you about this:


    How cool is that?!?!

    The one in New England conflicts with a frisbee tournament, so sadly, I can't do it. I immediately thought "who else would appreciate something like this?!"

    1. Yes! Yes! YES! I am totally doing this race! I've been talking about it with a few friends. It sounds so fun, I almost can't stand it! Best idea for a 5k ever (except for the one that has you run to a Krispie Kreme doughnut shop and eat a dozen doughnuts)!


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