Why I hate wind

Friday, March 09, 2012

Wind and I have a very tumultuous relationship. While a warm ocean breeze can be the perfect compliment to a day of sunbathing and frolicking in the sand, nothing bums me out and ruins my morning faster than walking out the door and getting slapped in the face with gale force winds.

I need to start standing on my patio first thing in the morning to gauge just exactly how windy the day is before I make any kind of arrangements to wash or style my hair. If there is even the slightest twinge of movement in the air, I won't bother with a brush at all. There's no point. Trying to look decent in the hair region on a windy day is a fruitless labor and a good waste of extra sleep time.

This is my typical morning:


Of course, the only time I ever have movie star-quality hair is when I'm alone in my bathroom and no one is around to witness it. After about 20 minutes of blow drying, smoothing and dangerous levels of teasing, I almost look like I have good hair. Almost. Who's that girl in the mirror looking back at me? Is that Jennifer Aniston? Oh boy! I'm so giddy with excitement; I can't wait to get to work and show my co-workers that I'm not always an ugly beast!

O.M.G. Who turned on the wind? Why didn't I hear it slamming against the siding of my house while I was primping in the mirror? Oh, that's right, I couldn't hear anything because I was too busy blasting my hair with a loud blow dryer and dreaming of what it would be like to be Rapunzel. Seriously, I just ate some of my own hair. This is ridiculous. Is there a tornado warning I don't know about? Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Then I get to work and have to bust out my trusty ol' rubber band because "hurricane hair" is so totally not in season. I look frizzy, miserable and I spend my morning answering emails in a blind rage. Not like Rapunzel at all. Not.At.All.

Note: All of these pathetic illustrations were created by me in Microsoft Paint ... after I finished openly weeping about no longer having Photoshop on my home computer ... again.

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10 comments

  1. You should have a sequel about rain (I'm never madder at myself than the mornings when I forget to look outside to see if it's raining...and then find out the hard way right after I've straightened my naturally curly hair)

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    1. Noted! Perhaps I'll draw another cartoon soon. :) Thanks for the comment, Liz!

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  2. ummm...this is amazing! did you create these pictures?! lol very nice! i'm impressed. sorry for the bad hair day though... :) suck it wind!

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    1. Ha ha! Thank you! I did do these myself with my shaky computer mouse and the Paint program on my computer. :)

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  3. Stay with MSPaint as it's way funnier. Plus, I didn't realized mousse was sold past 1997.

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    1. If mousse ever goes off the market, I'm going to have to shave my head or wear a hat all the time. I depend on mousse in a sick, sick way.

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  4. I hate wind too... hate the feel of it on my skin. I like a still day, riding in the car with the windows UP! I don't care how much I sweat, just keep the wind off me.

    I see you are a runner. If you go on my blog and read my posts, you will see posts from Lisa At Two Bears Farm. She is a Runner in... I think West Virginia. Very, very nice girl. We comment back and forth on each others blogs.

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    1. Oh my gosh, I always want the windows up in my car, too! Drives my hubby nuts, but he doesn't have long hair to worry about. I don't even like the AC vent pointed on me.

      Thanks for the comment! I will definitely check out your blogs. Looking forward to reading!

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  5. Oh my gosh! This happens to me EVERY day! I always complain about how untamed my hair gets throughout the day when just 15 minutes before, in my bathroom at home, it looked great! I had to do my own hair for my best friend's wedding and I told her weeks in advance it would end up horribly. After getting ready, she said, "See your hair looks great!" And I said, "Yeah, Just wait 30 minutes and it's going to look completely different," and it totally did. Ugh!!!

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    1. I get flyaways SO BAD throughout the day. I think right now it's mostly from the dry winter we had, so I'm really hoping once we start getting "April showers", it will start taming itself a bit. I just was NOT blessed with good hair ... wind, snow, sleet, hail, rain--doesn't matter. It all equals a bad hair day!

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