Old Dog, meet New Trick.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

You’re never too old or too set in your ways to learn a thing or two. You can teach an old dog a new trick. And I, Courtney P, in all of my infinite wisdom of any and all things cake or pop culture-related, am still humble enough to admit that I do not in fact “know it all” and that I am always willing and able learn.

Things I Learned This Week
  • Don’t leave an empty box of Sour Skittles in your purse because the leftover sour powder will spill on everything, including your cell phone, and you will inevitably cradle said phone between your shoulder and cheek and you will immediately begin to wonder why your eyeball is on fire.
  • Stop running outside with your hair up in a long pony tail. Otherwise, your hair will swing side to side into your peripheral vision and you will think a bird is attacking you and will you react accordingly.
  • All interoffice disputes, no matter how big or how inconsequential, can be solved with a good ol’ fashion Nerf gun fight.
  •  If you’re ever wondering how many emails you have to send containing the world “incontinence” instead of “inconvenience” before you realize you can’t spell to save your life and that spell check is not your friend, the answer is 3. This week marks the third time over the past couple of years I have done this in my professional career.
  • When Clayton says, “Stop using my razor or else it’s going to rip my face apart the next time I shave”, should not be taken as a personal challenge.
  • Every time a dog suddenly gets up and walks out of the room, 99.9% of the time it’s because he farted … bad.
  • If you ever want to hear me at my worst with the absolute raunchiest, most foul language that would make even Eminem blush, just plop me down in front of a game of Mario Kart.
  • After watching last night's winter finale of Glee, I came to the realization that I'm far more emotionally invested in a TV show about a bunch of singing high school dorks than any rational 26 year-old should be. 
  • My “normal” level of sweating during the day seems to be everyone else’s “I just ran a marathon in the desert with a dead cow strapped to my back” level. Deodorant, anyone?

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2 comments

  1. This posted cracked me up!!! It's a good one! And I am the same way with Mario Kart ... I think I put something similar to that on my Pinterest today. LOL

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  2. Gah! Again with the post that I so relate to that I can't help but respond tenfold (are we long lost twins? when's your birthday?)

    -I didn't think anyone else appreciated Sour Skittles. I almost wrote that in all caps; I was so excited. I restrained myself. We'll call it personal growth. Hope your eye is ok.

    -I get REALLY distracted by the reflection of my ponytail flying from side to side in the TV at the gym. I have yet to get freaked out by it...though I did almost trip and die when the woman on the treadmill next to me started talking to someone behind her and I thought she was addressing me.

    -Your office is way cooler than my office.

    -My supervisor sent an email to our boss and CC-ed me on it. It was supposed to say "deficit." It definitely said "defecate." I definitely almost peed my pants.

    -I was at my mom's house the other day and she accused me of farting when it was actually the dog. In front of company. I wish I was joking.

    -Oh, Mario Kart. I effing hate those effing bananas and the effing spiral and the effing music when you effing hit one and you can't effing drive effing forward...eff.

    -I was in a glass case of emotion during Glee, lemmetellya. Also, Jane Lynch is speaking at my alma mater's commencement ceremony this year...I'm crashing. You're invited. (no creeper)

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