You're on my heart like a tattoo ... (sorry, that was lame)

Friday, January 27, 2012

On and off for the past couple of years, Clay and I have discussed the idea of me getting tattoo. My hubby already has one and has been forever talking about adding more to his body ink collection, and all of his chatter has been rubbing off on me, too. But whenever we'd get into a serious discussion about my getting one, it always ended the same.


Me: "I'd love to get a tattoo."

Clay: "I'd love for you to get one."

Me: "Yes, I'm definitely getting a tattoo."

Clay: "Great! I'll go with you."

Me: "Nah, I'm not getting a tattoo."

I'm probably the most indecisive person on the planet, and not being able to make decisions on my own does not mix well with permanent body art. Whenever I need to make a choice pertaining to myself, I automatically seek out the opinions of others (i.e. my husband, mom and sister), as if I don't trust myself to reach the right conclusion on my own. I am extremely guilty of letting other people's opinions sway my own.

That's just not something you can do with a tattoo. You get a tattoo because YOU want one. You don't get a tattoo because YOU don't want one. It's that easy.

And that's the inner dialogue I've been having with myself for the past several months.

Do I want a tattoo? Yes.

Am I scared of getting a tattoo? Definitely.

But why?

I think what I'm most scared of is that I will come to regret my tattoo, that I will look down at it and feel remorse rather than happiness. And if I end up hating my tattoo, there's really not too much I can do about short of going through a painful removal procedure. Come at me with a laser, and I will kill you ... 

This is so wrong. So, so wrong.
But you know what? We only get one life and I've spent the majority of mine playing way too safe and not taking any chances. What's the edgiest thing I've ever done? I pierced my belly button my sophomore year of college but ended up taking it out less than a year later when it got infected.

So for the past few months, the idea of getting a tattoo has been exciting me more and more. I've been mulling over in my head for about a year now about what specifically I would get and where, and I think the secret to not regretting my decision is all in the tattoo's placement.


I refuse to get a tattoo that does not hold meaning or symbolize something important to me. I don't think etching something permanent on your body should be taken lightly or done just because "you thought it was cute". I mean, by all means, get a butterfly tattooed on your butt if your dad was a butterfly or something, but getting a giant ship inked into your chest because you were on a boat that one time? Pass.

Naturally, my first idea was to get my favorite Bible verses tattooed in Latin. Many people have personal slogans or mantras that help them navigate through life's peaks and valleys, and I've always leaned on this particular passage no matter what the circumstance:

Psalms 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?


Clay and I kicked around the idea of having the scripture tattooed on my rib cage, directly beneath and to the side of one my lady bits. The script would be small and discreet, only be visible to my husband or when I was gallivanting around the beach in my bikini (which surprisingly, happens a lot). However, the more I thought about it, the more I started to worry that such a location would feel a little too intrusive. I feel like a tattoo in that location has the ability to go from cool to trashy very easily.

So after a lot thought and reflection on what I value and how I feel about myself as a person, I decided that if I do take the plunge, I will be getting a tattoo of a little set of wings on the side of my foot, right beneath that ball of the ankle. (It might be the fibula? I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Or smart.)

Anyway, I would like to get this tattoo on my right food, my "ugly" foot. My foot that has a giant burn scar from a childhood accident and the infamous janky toe that turns purple every time I run a mini. My foot that I'm embarrassed of. I want to get a little set of wings, similar to the wings on the sandals of Hermes, the Greek god who served the messenger between the gods and humans. To me, the wings symbolize that even though my foot is "ugly", with it I can run strong and fast. Even though I will never be "perfect" and even though my body itself will never be "perfect", it is mine and it is still capable of doing amazing things. 

I shared the idea with Clayton and he just can't picture. He keeps saying he'd have to see it first in order to decide whether or not he likes it. Which to me, simply means, "I don't like that at all." But, like I said earlier, you can't get a tattoo or not get a tattoo for anyone else but yourself. 

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1 comments

  1. You can't get a PERMANENT tattoo and change your mind. You can however have a friend draw it on you. Or you can go to michaela and get tattoo paper and make a stick on tattoo to test it out. :)

    ReplyDelete

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