Forever Lazy

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say itI hate winter. I want it to be spring like, right now. No matter how much I think I'm looking forward to busting out my snugly mittens and warm, fuzzy sock hats, once temperatures drop below 40 degrees, I'm huddled on the couch with three blankets and a space heater pointed directly at my feet, bitching up a storm.

If winter and I were in high school, I would have dumped it by now and started dating its younger, sexier friend named Summer.

If I was in charge of the weather (and honestly, I'm not sure why I haven't been granted that responsibility yet), I'd let spring and summer proceed as usual, but after September 30th it would stay 65 degrees every day up until Christmas Eve where we would spontaneously experience an extreme temperature drop to 32 degrees and a snow storm. However, once we woke up on the morning of December 26th, the snow would be melted and the temperature would spring back up to a happy, tepid 65 degrees.

I think what rattles my cage most about winter is how blasted inconvenient the weather is when it comes to fashion. I hate wearing sweaters. They itch. In fact, I can't stand wearing long sleeves period. Unless it's a hoodie or some ah-mazing running t-shirt I acquired from registering for a cold-season race, I have no use for long sleeves. They bug me. I don't like things encasing my wrists. I barely wear my watch. If you bought me a breathtaking diamond tennis bracelet because I'm your favorite blogger, I'd probably have to turn you down and say, "No thank you." (okay, that's a lie. I wouldn't turn down diamonds. At the very least I'd go behind your back and have a jewler turn it into a necklace ... or pawn it for cake.)

Hey, what do you know—a cake made out of diamonds!


Anyway, I don't like wearing long sleeves or layers. It's heavy, it's constricting, and it's usually very itchy. Everything makes me itchy. I have a really cute red turtleneck sweater hanging in my closet from Victoria's Secret, but I've never worn it out in public because as soon as I pull it over my head, I start feeling claustrophobic and the wool fabric makes my hair frizzy. So I immediately rip it off in a frustrated flurry of aggression and static before tossing it into the back of my closet.

And yet, I haven't gotten rid of it. I think I'm holding out hope that one day I will put on that sweater and discover that it magically changed it's texture and fit.

But, as with all things, there is a silver lining to this time of the year. Sure, winter brings dry skin (and in my case, spontaneous nose bleeds), flyways that cannot be contained with any kind of serum or leave-in conditioner, and chapped lips, but it also brings two of my most favorite things ...

... scarves and boots.

Hey, what do you knowUgg boots made out of cake!


All bitterness against winter aside, I do love me some cute winter boots. And I have several pairs in my closet to prove it. Even though Clayton detests skinny jeans and makes an audible sigh of disgust every time I yank a pair on, I think jeans tucked into boots is the hottest thing since the stir-up pants I used to wear with slouchy socks in elementary school (I was somewhat of a 2nd grade fashionista). I used to think Ugg boots were ghastly and would will city buses to run over all of the girls trotting around campus wearing them with booty shorts, but the look of those funky little boots has grown on me. While I don't favor the Ugg brand itself and would never dream of walking out of the house wearing booty shorts with them (people would go blind I tell you, BLIND), I like the concept of the shoe. My boots? American Eagle (Adorable and affordable). Come on, there's nothing worse than the dreaded wetness stain on the bottoms of your pants from trudging through snow. My cute little booties totally eliminate that problem and keep my tootsies roasty toasty all winter long. 

Another way you can make your winter less miserable? Snuggies. And if that doesn't tickle your fancy, there's always the fashionable, head-turning, babe-magnet called Forever Lazy:

 

Clayton and I would both be lying if we said we never considered buying a pair of these for each other for Christmas. He was skeptical about the idea until I told him they have a little trap door in the back so you can go to the bathroom without taking them off. Then he was a believer, too. 

I just love that the commercial had people modeling them outside at what looks to be some kind of barbeque or cookout. Psh, like anyone who owns a Forever Lazy and wears it in public has any friends or gets invited to parties.

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