The Winter "Ew"s

Again, I’m sorry for the few and far between blog posts. Lucky I am no longer training in Indy and should be back to my sub-par blogging schedule in no time.

But can we talk about the fact that it’s already December? And not just December, but December 5th?

When did that happen?

Even though Black Friday shopping was a total let down, Clay and I still managed to finish 80% of our Christmas shopping by the end of this weekend. I like to get it done as early as possible and have the majority of December to actually enjoy the impending holiday rather than spend it being stressed and frazzled about fulfilling wish lists.

Since I don’t want to give anything away, I’m just going to say this quickly and I’m only going to say it once: I am obnoxiously excited about the gifts my loved once will be unwrapping this year. That’s all I’m going to say. I’m afraid if that I keep gushing about presents I’m going to inadvertently spill some secrets and ultimately ruin Christmas.

I’ve ruined lots of things, but surprisingly, Christmas has not been one of them … and I’d like to keep it that way.

Even though we are at the mercy of global warming and the temperatures have barely hovered below 40 degrees, my body is still keenly aware that it is winter. You know, I don’t really look that great to begin with for the first ¾ of the year, but I am a particularly heinous breed of ugly between the months of November and March. As soon as we are hit with the very first frost of the season, my beauty meter takes a plunge and doesn’t begin to rise a single iota until the first blossoms of spring.

Despite the fact that it has rained every other day for the past 3 weeks, you’d think my hair follicles had been roaming around in the desert heat for the past 3 years. Dry. Dry. DRY!

And I can’t decide what’s worse—having dry, static-infused hair that stands on end like bug antennas or applying ample amounts of leave-in conditioner that leaves my hair plastered to the sides of my head like an unwashed Russell Brand?

In the winter, there is no happy medium for me.

And skin? Can we talk about skin for a minute? I have bad skin, I’ll admit it. At 26-years old I still get what could be classified as full-fledged acne breakouts that have the ability to repel any and every facial scrub or zit cream on the shelves of my local retailer. I met Clayton when I was 17—you can only imagine the armor of foundation and concealer that was piled onto my face.

My skin is naturally on the oilier end of the spectrum and it’s further aggravated by the amount of running and working out that I do. However, I tend to believe that having a sexier body is worth the few extra pimples and I tend to just suffer through it … until winter hits. Only in the winter does my skin possess the uncanny ability to be both stubbornly oily and yet painfully dry at the exact same time. I didn’t think it was possible. But apparently it is—just ask my shiny, flakey skin. Do I use a moisturizer to combat the dryness? No, because then my skin will break out. But what if I use an astringent to treat the break out? No, because then my skin will get flakey again.

I did an image search for  "pale vampire" to help
illustrate my post. This picture of Marilyn Manson
showed up in the search results, but I thought,
"Nah, just go with it..."
They should do studies on me.

And every morning when I get dressed I can’t help but notice the little star-shape on my hip from a sticker I used to gauge the depth of my tan while sun bathing this past summer. I’m already grossly pale and the star’s faint outline is just a foreboding omen of all the pastiness that is yet to come. At times when I don’t think I could possibly get any paler, all I have to do is slightly pull up the bottom of my shirt and I am instantly reminded that it’s only going to get worse … so much worse.

Every year when I pick out my winter shade of foundation from the drug store, I’m consistently amazed that they have yet to name the color “Vampire” or “Undead”.


No wonder it gets dark earlier and longer this time of the year …


  1. Ironically, I found dying my hair darker in the winter actually made my complexion look better, not worse. But I'm kinda olive-y in tone, so maybe that would work for you? I mean we do have more in common than just our personality types! I heart you fellow ENFJ!

  2. My skin tone is olive-y, too! I've been having my hair dresser gradually add more lowlights each time I see her because I'm trying to get my hair darker for the winter. You are right, when I'm pale my complexion looks much better with dark hair! :)


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