The Slammer

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Okay, this is REALLY serious and I need your undivided attention.

Are you listening?

Put that cup of coffee down, and pay attention!

Hey, you! Yeah, you in the back. Get off of facebook and listen to me. No one cares about your stupid crops on Farmville.  All eyes up here on me.

(I would have made a great teacher.)

Is everyone listening? Good. I have an important announcement:

My sister is going to jail.

We always knew she was headed for a life of crime and that her story would ultimately end with the sentence, "And then she turned the gun on herself," but we didn't think it would happen before she turned 30!

My sister is headed to the slammer, but we can help! Wanna help bail my sister out of jail? Want to actually pay her bail in a weirdly veiled attempt to raise money for Jerry's Kids©?

By tossing a few dollars at the justice system to keep my sister's rebellion-riddled butt of prison, what you're really doing is making a tax-deducatble donation to the Muscular Dystrophy Association, an organization that serves and supports children and adults with MD in Central Indiana (it's kind of a weird marketing scheme, I know.  But the pictures of the children dressed up like a little judge and police officer are ADORABLE).



To make a donation, click here. Ashley set the modest goal of raising $2,400 and I would love to see her reach it (so she can finally prove to us once and for all that she's not a COMPLETE failure).

With the holidays just around the corner, it's easy to get wrapped up in the excitement of Christmas and forget that there are millions of families in the United States who are not as fortunate as we are.  Be it poverty, illness or both, many Americans face struggles that we will never have to experience, and aside from sitting around your delicious turkey dinner and counting all of the things you're thankful for, why not give someone else something to be thankful for?

And in case you need an other incentive to donate because the simple satisfaction of knowing that you helped a bunch of kids isn't enough (shame on you): If you follow the above link and make a donation to Jerry's Kids© on behalf of bailing my worthless sibling out of jail, I promise to write an post about how much I like you and all of the reasons why you're so awesome (and I'll even mention your full name so people who stalk you on google can find you and be all like, "Wow! So-and-so is SO AWESOME. They give money to sick kids! Wait, why is this entire blog all about cake?")  And I will do that for EACH person who donates. Promise.

Just leave a comment on this post and let me know how much you donated!

(God will like you more for it.)

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