Thong Song Friday

Friday, September 02, 2011


"I refuse to have even more useless junk lying around the house 
all because you had a brief moment of nostalgia for 'The Thong Song'!"

^^Even as those words were coming out of my mouth, I was in utter disbelief that I actually had to say that sentence to my 25 year-old husband.

Last night Clay and I went through our stuff to gather items we wanted to sell in a garage sale my in-law's are holding for Clay's grandmother this weekend (she moved from Tennessee to live with them and is selling everything she owns because 86 year-old women actually require an alarmingly small amount of stuff).  After sorting through kitchen wares and clothes we no longer wear, Clay and I sat down to go through his old cds. The fact that I had to fight him to throw away Sisqó's Unleash the Dragon album made me start questioning my marriage for the first time ever.

I had to google how to spell Sisqó and in doing so I discovered that he put out a Christmas album in 2006.  Yes, the man whose fame is based solely on worshiping panties has his own Christmas cd.

This is your fault, America.

Since his career never really took off (*shock and surprise!*), it's hard to find any actual lyrics or videos for this album.  But I can only imagine the special kind of holiday magic and cheer that only Sisqó can bring:

"Come she told me, her rump bum bum bum
A booty for me to see, her 

rump bum bum bum 


Her finest red G-string, 

her 

rump bum bum bum

 
Let's do the damn thing, 

her 

rump bum bum bum


rump bum bum bum

rump bum bum bum

Me and that bum ... "


Ha ha ha! ... Sorry, I crack myself up.

Clayton just pointed out that I can't hate too much on Sisqó's Perfect Christmas considering my favorite Christmas cd is by Neil Diamond.

Touché, sir. Touché.


Grandma let the family have the first go at her belongings before the garage sale officially started, and I was almost stupid with anticipation because I wanted so desperately to have something to remember a grandmother by.  When my Nana passed away, family drama ensued and my sister, mom and I were left nothing and didn't even have the opportunity to have one of her beloved cooking dishes.  To say that depressed me is a complete understatement.  My strongest memories of my grandmother are from the times spent in her kitchen eating spaghetti, and I wanted a piece of that to keep for myself in a way that is too passionate to describe.  But I suppose it's too late for that now.  I can't change that I don't have any special belongs of my Nana.  But I can make sure that my husband has some wonderful parts of his own grandmother to cherish many years from now.


After my softball game, Clay and I went over to the garage to drop off our boxes and set up our items for sale.  Since my game didn't get over until well after eleven, Clay and I were the only ones there.  I spent a lot of time walking up and down the rows of tables, feeling kind of sad to see Grandma's entire life sprawled out in one tiny garage.  If seeing someone's existence reduced to a few cardboard boxes marked "$.50" isn't a somber reminder that you "can't take it with you when you go", then I don't know what is. A pretty sobering thought for me, the girl who feels like she needs to have the perfectly decorated house.

Clay and I ended up leaving with a small box of Grandma's stuff.  I found a beautiful stone cross with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 engraved on it (the same Bible verse that was in our wedding vows ... and probably everyone else's on the planet).  I was also fortunate to find a gorgeous glass serving platter with pink flowers lining the bottom of the plate.  I have no idea how or when I will use it, but just the idea of having it and being able to say, "This was Clayton's grandmother's" is amazing.  We are also extremely thankful to her for giving us for dining room table.  I almost want to rent a moving truck and rush down to her old house in Tennessee to pick it up right now! But we're going to wait until we move in October because we just have absolutely no room for it right now.

Working on Grandma's garage sale got me wondering what kinds of things will be spread out on the tables when I'm 86 and selling my belongings.  Hopefully not too much or nothing too fancy because, like Grandma, I want to live a life focused on love and memories, not money and material possessions. But I can tell you one thing, there will probably lots of dish towels ...

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