Thursday, August 25, 2011

Mountains out of molehills

Last night my hypochondria was in full-swing.  Clay had to work late, and as he and both unfortunately know, my being home alone is the perfect trigger for irrational thinking.  By the time he walked through the front door, I was lying on the couch with an adult beverage in my hand trying my best to calm an impending anxiety attack.

Clay indulged my weirdness for awhile and then delivered some tough love by telling me to stop worrying about any and everything, lest I wanted to make myself sick from manifesting all of this negative energy.  He was right. I decided a warm shower sounded lovely and like the perfect way to relax myself.

While showering with the world's greatest teal loofah sponge (Seriously! It's like buffing yourself with cashmere), I had an incredibly sobering thought—what would I ever do if, Lord forbid, I actually did have something to be upset or stressed over? Like something legitimately serious and not one of the silly little ailments I made up for myself when my brain was feeling bored?  Close friends and family members who are currently struggling with serious health or personal problems popped into my head ... and I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed (because of that and, well, I was naked ...).  I've been incredibly blessed that most of my "mountains" are actually much more like "molehills".

So, that's a new goal for myself–I am going to stop sweating the small, insignificant stuff (even if I have to force myself to do it).  I'll keep saying, "It's no big deal" over and over to myself until I'm blue in the face or have no choice but to believe it!  If you know me personally, then you know this quite a lofty goal.  But I am determined.  I was almost sick with conviction last night of how selfish and pathetic I can be. Things can always be so much worse than they are.  So much worse.

I talk to my mom a lot about, well, everything.  And several years ago we were talking about how much I worry about, well, everything and she gave me a neat little trick to help put my mind back where it needs to be: If I am faced with a situation that I am obsessing over or worrying about, I just need to put it on a perspective scale.  I will ask myself, what is the absolute worst outcome this situation could possibly have? Then I will ask myself, what is the absolute best outcome this situation could possibly have?  Chances are, the actual outcome is going to fall somewhere in the middle of that scale.

She's a wise, wise woman.

Is there anything about yourself that you wish you could change? Are your own mountains actually molehills? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Wise words to live by. :)

7 comments:

  1. Sometimes I feel like thinking of the things I want to change is much more time consuming than thinking of the things I wouldn't change, as that list is much shorter.

    Ever since I've been with Matt though, it's been easier. He suffers from OCD and a severe anxiety disorder so seeing his struggle has helped me realize that my issues are not that bad.

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  2. working from home has been great and i like my job (for the most part), but the biggest downfall has been the fact that i am home alone a lot, which leaves tons of time for my mind to roam ridiculous worries and stresses. i worry and i worry a lot...about a month ago, it was getting to the point where i actually hated going to sleep because i knew as soon as i opened my eyes in the morning i would start worrying about something. lol i sound pathetic sorry. anyhow, besides having david to bounce my worries off of and help me calm down, two other things that have helped me are the following:
    1. my best friend, Amanda, telling me that i should pray instead of worry as worry can be a lack of faith.
    2. for the past couple of weeks (with advice from a professional), i have been taking a natural supplement called Gaba (500mg in the morning, 500mg in the evening). Gaba is an amino acid that naturally produces itself in our brain. it helps support your nervous system by producing more of this amino acid that counters excess brain stimulation (i.e. worry/anxiety).
    i'm kind of just testing it out to see how it helps me, but i can say that my mind has been placed more at ease and i don't feel AS anxious about things. i think the remembering what Amanda told me combined with the Gaba has helped me.
    so from one worrier to another - i pass on this tid bit of information. you're great courtney! thanks so much for your honesty! lol maybe i have been a little too honest about myself in this post. i blame you. haha! :)

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  3. Oh Amanda, I just love your comments. :)

    And I love that you have the other Amanda as a great girlfriend and support system (I've been praying for one of those for myself!). She's absolutely right. All worries and fears can be given to God so easily, but I like to hold onto mine for some reason (control maybe?). I need to just let go and let God! :) Tell Amanda she's wise.

    I'm incredibly intrigued by this Gaba. I've wanted to take some herbal supplements for other stuff, but I've been nervous about it because a pharmacist told me that they could potentially interfere with my birth control. I have an appointment with my lady doctor in September and I intend to talk to her about this because I'd be interested in trying this!

    I can't stand to be around myself most of the time because I obsess and worry over the dumbest, most irrelevant things! I have an obsessive personality, but sometimes it's just too much to take. I drive myself nuts as well as my poor husband and family. Like I mentioned in my post, I'm embarrassed about how much I worry when so many other people have horrible life situations to overcome. I need to change this STAT.

    And Cat, like you said in your comment, it is really sobering to be so close to someone else dealing with a tough situation like Matt's. I will keep both of you ladies in my prayers!

    Thanks for the comments. I kind of love them ... a lot.

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  4. side note - i just wanted to say that Amanda told me that out of love and not questioning my faith in God at all. lol i just don't want you to think that i'm questioning whether you have enough faith or not. i'm sure you didn't think that at all. ha! but it worried me! :) oh gosh, sometimes i crack myself up.

    but yes, for sure check in with your doctor about Gaba. i hate taking anything, so i talked to my doctor about it too before i started taking it to help relieve (yet again) my worries. it definitely makes me feel better knowing that it is a natural supplement. and i,as well, didn't want any surprise babies poppin' out.

    maybe someday we'll have to meet up somewhere.

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  5. Oh gosh, no! I never thought you were questioning that! Don't even give it a second though. I knew what you meant. :)

    And I just cracked up at the "didn't want any surprise babies poppin' out".

    GREAT mental image!

    I think we should meet up as well. :)

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