Things I Love Thursday (dental addition, minus things I actually love)

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Every time I get a new follower on my blog, a girl from 16 and Pregnant gets breast implants.  Many, many thanks go out to the new readers I acquired over the weekend. Whenever I see that my follower tally has gone up, I get creepily excited and start humming, "You're Nobody Til' Somebody Loves You" to myself for the rest of the day.

So thank you!

And it couldn't have come at a better time because yesterday was r-o-u-g-h.  I had a dentist appointment yesterday afternoon, but didn't even think twice about it because going to the dentist has never bothered me.  I've never had a reason to be nervous.  I take obsessively good care of my teeth and don't harbor fears that the dentist is going to just start ripping out my molars like weeds in a garden.  The general cleaning exam is generally painless and any uncomfortableness is totally worth it for the free toothbrush at the end.

However, (and I hate to admit this), I went a little longer than normal between teeth cleanings.  Since I was a kid, I've made sure that I get my teeth cleaned every six months (see? obsessive.), but for some reason I only went once last year.  I can't even remember why.  I think it had something to do with my switching jobs and insurance bouncing around, but I can't say for sure.  But still, flossing is a general hobby of mine, so I wasn't too frazzled about their being a year-long gap between visits.

Boy was I wrong.  During the last year my mouth apparently became a fertile breeding ground for all sorts of nastiness because I had way more tartar build-up than normal (which the hygienist told me is formed mostly from saliva. And that was embarrassing because I know for a fact I was drooling on myself when she told me that.  Why do hygienists insist on having conversations when they're elbow-deep in your mouth? All of my grunts and "uh-huhs" coming from the back of my throat made me spit-up on myself like a two year-old).  Needless to say, the scraping process took far longer than normal and it was painful.  At certain points I felt her brace her body against the exam chair as she tried to rake her picking tools between the backs of my bottom teeth. And oh my gosh, the whole ordeal made me start sweating.  I had to ask for frequent breaks to rinse out my mouth just to keep myself from biting her rubber-gloved fingers.  I know it wasn't her fault, it was mine for waiting too long between office visits, but still ... she was the immediate source of my pain and I briefly wished to cause her bodily harm.

But the good news is, I have perfectly healthy and teeth and gums.  No cavities.  I talked to my dentist about one of my front teeth that I thought was chipped (and if I told you I wasn't obsessively looking at it  in a mirror all week, would you believe me? Me neither.), but it turns out it's not a chip, just the shape of my tooth.  And, according to my X-rays and previous molds of my teeth, it's always been there. *sigh of relief*

This is not my dentist.

After my appointment, I felt like I'd gotten punched in the face.  My whole body is overly sensitive to, well, everything, so I usually have discomfort after every dental cleaning.  However, the pain in my mouth was so intense it started giving me a headache.  Since I can't buy Vicodin at Wal-Mart, I decided to swing by a drive-thru and get an ice cold Diet Coke to make me feel better instead.  I remember specifically ordering a DIET Coke, but when I got back to work and stabbed a straw into my drink, I was dismayed to find that the kid at the drive-thru window gave me REGULAR Coke by mistake.

Now, I haven't had regular soda in at least a year.  I used to be obsessed with regular Coke and it was all I would drink.  However, it's been so long since I've had it, I don't like it anymore ... at all.  But, I didn't want to waste my money, so I figured I'd tough it out in lieu of just throwing it away.  Five sips in, I ended up pitching it anyway because it made me feel sick to my stomach. Not to mention that drinking sugary soda immediately after a dental cleaning made me feel like I broke the law or something.

And I was sick for the rest of the day.  I felt bloated, gassy and gross (but hey what else is new?).  It was like indigestion, nausea, and Hurricane Katrina joined forces in my stomach lining and left me almost unable to breath from being so uncomfortable.  I think Coke should put a warning on their cans— Warning: This beverage may make you feel sad or like you're dying.

I know that today is Things I Love Thursday, but today is a complete whirwind because I am STILL working two jobs (only instead of one being part-time and the other being freelance when I have extra time, it's now a full-time job and extra freelance work until they can hire another freelancer to take my place. UGH.) So I will yammer on and on about my favorite things on Friday because everyone loves Friday ... especially Rebecca Black.

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