Morning news

Monday, February 07, 2011

I’m feeling less than stellar this morning.

I had my alarm clock set for 10:00 a.m. because Clay and I stayed up late watching Forrest Gump and I didn’t have much to do the next day. However, my phone went off around 9:30 and much to my expected/dreaded delight, it was the hiring manager for the job I had 3 separate interviews with.

When she sounded hurried and not quite as chipper as she had been when scheduling my interviews, I knew the outcome wasn’t going to be what I had been praying for.

And it wasn’t.

I didn’t even try to mask my disappointment with feigned optimism. When she told me they ultimately decided to go in another direction, I replied with a simple, “Oh …” and stopped talking completely. She filled my silence with kind words of how much she enjoyed meeting me, how much she respected me, and how much she hoped our paths would cross in the future.

She was as nice as one could be when they know they’re delivering unfavorable news, and I gave her the courtesy of not breaking down until after we had hung up.

I had a lot of hope for this job. This was something I believed I really wanted. It was a graphic design and writing position, the two things I think I’m best at, but I still wasn’t right for it. They had me in for 3 different interviews, one of which lasted over three hours, and I still wasn’t right for it.

That was a big blow to my self-esteem; I’m not going to lie.

It seems to have opened a flood gate of insecurities, and I’m sitting in my living room on a cold, dreary Monday morning trying to decide if I have the strength the figure out my next move. My life has been filled with next move figuring and a lot of regrouping … I’m good at it, actually. But right now, I just don’t have the energy. If I can’t get a job doing what I was born and groomed to do, then I must not be very good at those things after all.

I made a promise a few posts ago that if I wasn’t offered the job, it was going to be my personal sign that it was time to start writing a book.

I’m going to make good on that promise, but I have a few things to tend to and medicate first:

Clay, answering his work phone at 10:38 a.m.: Hello?
Courtney, sobbing on the other end of the phone: Is it too early to start drinking?
Clay: Of course not, baby …

I guess still working at home does have its advantages.

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3 comments

  1. hey sislet! So sorry you didn't get that job. But don't give up! Maybe you were just TOO fabulous for that job and they couldn't handle you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I wish I lived in a world where my biggest problem was being too fabulous.

    I'm incredibly disapointed and just need a few days to go through my rejection grieving process. I've had so many interviews, but being told no never gets easier.

    I need more wine.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I feel your pain! I'm looking for a job again and am going through the rejection process all over again. It is incredibly frustrating. Try to keep your chin up as corny as it sounds. In the end you may decide to find something different with your career path. Just remember that whatever you choose it doesn't change who you are as a person.

    Good luck and keep me posted!

    ReplyDelete

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