I had every intention of writing yet another amusing, thought-provoking blog post that I am so famously known for (ha ... sarcasm), but I can't.

See, tonight I had a little contest with myself to see how many Texas Roadhouse rolls I could fit into my stomach. 

The answer is five.

Plus the entirety of a huge cheeseburger.

But I ordered a side of vegetables instead of the french fries like a lady.

Honestly, it's shameful how much food I can eat in one sitting. I don't know if I have a larger than normal stomach, but I have to consciously tell myself to stop eating so I don't explode, gain a thousand pounds, or offending fellow dining patrons.

I'll post something better tomorrow when I can comfortably breathe ... and walk ... and fit into my pants.