Bathtub surprise

Clayton woke me up this morning around 7:00 a.m. by bursting into our bedroom and bellowing, “Court, there is a MOUSE in the bathtub.”

At first, I wanted to ignore him. I was really, really tired because my body thought it would be nice to sweat like a pig during the night, and I kept waking up with pools of sweat under my armpits and on my chest (do not let anyone ever fool you into believing that I’m not incredibly sexy at all times). So I wasn’t too keen on Clayton’s early morning shenanigans, and didn’t jump out of bed right away.

“What?” I muttered, muffled underneath the comforter.


Clayton’s usually too groggy in the morning himself, so I knew it was unlike him to come up with practical jokes while it was still dark outside. I drug myself out of bed and walked into the bathroom, half expecting to see one of Joey’s stuffed animals in the tub. But sure enough, Clayton pulled back the shower curtain and the most adorable little gray mouse was sitting by the drain.

I couldn’t help but think how incredibly ironic it was that my last blog post was poking fun at a man who hoarded rats. Maybe this was God’s unique way of telling me to stop making fun of people?

“WHY IS THERE A MOUSE IN THE DRAIN!?” I shrieked, instantly coming up with a thousand scenarios of why this was somehow our fault because we were gross or too messy, and that the apartment manager would somehow catch wind of it and kick us out because we were hoarding rodents in our bathtub and then no one in town would ever rent to us again because we would be known to all the other apartment managers as The VonRat family (Ha, Sound of Music.).
I wasn’t particularly afraid of the mouse, until it started moving. Then I screeched like a little woman and was two seconds away from standing on the toilet seat and shooing it away with a broom. I don’t even know why. I’m like 99% sure a mouse can’t do anything but bewitch me with its cuteness.

Clayton went to the kitchen to get two plastic cups to catch it in, and it was just me and the mouse having a stand-off in the bathroom. Suddenly feeling brave because the scary bearded man was gone, the mouse started nervously scurrying around the tub. I just stared down at him, dazzled by how much his little feet on the tub tile sounded exactly like Stewie Griffin’s footsteps in Family Guy.

So naturally, the mouse was named Stewie, and I wasn’t allowed to keep him for a pet. Clayton freed him outside in the winter weather and I’m slightly nervous that he’s going to freeze to death … unless he decides to come back into our apartment exactly the same way he did the first time.

But all I know is that for the rest of the day I’ve been walking in and out of the bathroom cautiously throwing back the shower curtain expecting (and maybe secretly hoping?) to find Stewie’s friends … but that would probably mean they were coming out of the shower drain, and I know for A FACT that there is far too much of my hair clogging that drain for anything to get in or out.


  1. I'm Googling about mice in the tub drain. I found one stuck in my drain last week, just as I reached for the faucet. My sons clobbered the little critter after hearing my frantic scream. This morning, there was a ton of turds in my tub only; none on the floor or elsewhere in the bathroom. We're pretty sure now that they're coming up through my tub drain. So many turds that I was sick to my stomach at the thought that there could've been several gross mice (RATS... that's what I call 'em!) playin' in my tub through the nice and that I very easily could've met up with them had I gotten up for a pit stop in the middle of the night! Your calm attitude and concern from the mouse made me laugh. I can't stand to even look at 'em without feeling creeped out disturbed; getting really jumpy now when I hear a sudden sound -- I'm imagining they're all around me, about to leap on me, like in the movie Ben. I know -- crazy. Good to know that not everybody spazzes or wants to crush, kill and destroy the lot of 'em. I just want them to never enter my home again and for those who do to be eliminated.... be any means necessary. I'm absolutely terrified of them.


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