Look Ma! No pants!

Who would have thought that being a stay-at-home wife would be more time-consuming and more exhausting than working 50+ hours a week in a demanding corporate office?  I certainly didn't.

(FYI: I quit my job ... for personal reasons.  After a lot of debate and soul-searching with my husband, we decided it was in my best interest to quit and look for something else.  I don't want to go into details ... just know I'm happier now.)

But it shouldn't be too surprising given that I am techincally working full-time from home in addition to being Suzy McHomemaker-Stewart.  I took on freelance work to make ends me until I could lock-down my next corporate adventure, but turns out that the company I'm freelancing for (my previous employer) has more than enough work and not enough people to do it.  So, Monday was my lucky day.  I officially started as full-time freelancer ...

... who colors all day.

It's far more involved than that.  It's digital coloring on layered photoshop illustrations that need a lot of detail and finessing, but still, at the end of the day I can tell people, "Yeah ... I color for a living."

Jealous?  You should be.

And working from home has been amazing! I wake up at 9:00 am (Okay, 10:30. I won't lie), brew a pot of my special tummy coffee, walk the dog, then sit down at my computer to color while I watch re-runs of Full House and Bad Girls Club.  In between work I run around doing laundry, making lunch for Clay, starting dinner, cleaning the house, and going grocery shopping.  In three days I've managed to wash every single item of clothing that was piled on our bedroom floor, fondly referred to as Mount Too-Lazy-To-Wash. I've also been able to get in a run on the trail or go to the gym every single day. Most importantly, I get to work without pants on (which is less offensive now that I can work out every day).

Being at home for Clayton whenever he needs me has been awesome.  He likes it; I like it; Joey likes it.  Joey likes it so much that he puked by my bed as a sign of graditude. Everyone likes it.  And it's extremely fulfilling.  I've been able to tend to chores I haven't done in forever because at my previous job it was really hard to come home from work and get chores done when I was crying and depressed. In fact, I get so much done that Clayton comes home and doesn't have to lift a finger, and, in my Disney Princess head, that's how I want it to be (I swear, I'm single-handedly setting the feminist movement back twenty years).

I'm just about two lazy points away from wearing pearls and having a martini ready for Clay when he walks through the door.  But, Clayton doesn't like martinis and I lost my pearl earrings MONTHS ago.

I do get a little stir-crazy from time-to-time and I do really miss the office interaction, but for once in my life I'm going to try and just relax and enjoy what I have right this second.  We've been extremely blessed in that I was able to leave a very stressful, emotionally-depleting work enviroment.  Many people would be forced to stay until they found another job.  So for that, I am extremely thankful.  And I am beyond thankful for the work I've been blessed to have in the meantime as well as the freedom to be at home.  I plan on forcing myself (that's right, FORCING myself) to stop asking, "What am I going to do next?" and "Is this going to make me fall behind?" and "What am I supposed to be doing with my life?" for a few days and just regroup.  

I'm not a failure for quitting (despite what a nagging voice in my head keeps telling me).  I just need some time to figure out what my next move will be ...

I need to just breathe ...