Sometimes I put myself on missions to remember things. If I have a sudden memory of something from my childhood, like a toy or place I used to visit, I will seriously lose sleep if I cannot recall the name of said toy or place. It will eat at me for days, and I’ll get grouchy with you if you even dare to suggest we talk about something other than helping me remember what that freaking thing is.

And why is it that when the thing you’re trying so hard to remember is right on the tippiest tip of your tongue someone always, ALWAYS blurts it out just a millisecond before you? I HATE that. I always want to punch that person in the face for having a better memory than me. I imagine that’s what getting a silver medal in the Summer Olympics is like – someone was just one millisecond faster than you. They deserve to be punched in the face on the podium while their national anthem is being played.

Clayton did that to me the other day when I was trying to remember the name of the Ford Escape. We were talking about Hybrid SUVs (Yes, we have VERY stimulating conversations), and I was trying to remember the name of the model Ford came out with. I kept wanting to call it an Echo. Stupid name? Yes, but not completely off the mark. We were driving to the mall to squeeze puppies, but my memory lapse was starting to overshadow the joy of my impending canine play date. There was a lot of dashboard smacking and aggravated sighing going on. But, right before we turned into the parking lot, I saw a Ford Escape drive by. Just seeing the car suddenly brought its name to my mind, and I started shrieking and pointing. “Clay, it’s a …”

“Ford Escape!” he yelled.

I hate him so much.

But the most prevalent example of how much I hate not being able to remember things happened back when my sister and I were still teenagers. One day Ashley casually asked me, “Hey, do you remember the name of the evil sled dog in the movie Balto?”

Psh, no. Why would I remember that?

Holy crap, what WAS his name?

And this was before the widespread use of Google.

It tortured us for months … literally MONTHS. We would debate the question forever and for some reason the thought of just renting the movie never once occurred to us. We were miserable and at a loss trying to remember the name of the menacing sled dog who may or may not have a giant scar on his face. Or maybe that’s Harry Potter? See, I don’t know.

Regardless, fall eventually turned into winter and Ashley and I somehow managed to carry on with relative amount of normalcy in our lives. With a little patience and lots of other stupid cartoon movies to occupy our time, we slowly stopped agonizing over the name of a fictional dog.

Then one spring day, out of absolutely nowhere while we sat eating dinner, Ashley burst out loud, “STEEL!”

“… What?”


“Look, I’m a huge fan of the industrial revolution too, sis, but seriously, simmer down.”

“No, STEEL. The dog’s name was Steel!”

“I love you.”

So that brings me to my dilemma today. On my lunch break I went to my favorite gas station that smells like old cleaning water to get my Diet Coke on. While at the register paying for my soda, a jar of lollipops caught my eye. I’m not a huge fan of suckers or hard candy in general, but these lollipops were special. These were the same lollipops I used to eat as a kid at the softball fields. They are a flying saucer-shaped candy that is all pink on top and all blue on the bottom. Or, if you have a major problem with blue, you can get one that is all pink and all yellow. I seriously loved these things and hadn’t thought about them in years, so of course I had to buy one!

When I got back to work I immediately emailed Ashley and told her about the sucker, but I couldn’t remember their brand name. I went digging in my trash can for the wrapper, but in a fit of glee I shredded it beyond recognition. Fortunately, Ashley knew exactly what I was talking about (because we’re basically the same person) and agreed that they were magically delicious, even after all these years.

But I still can’t figure out their name. I tried googling “suckers” and that brought me up a picture of the Lollipop Guild. Cool, but not what I needed. Then I thought maybe these suckers were exclusive to baseball-related activities (never mind I just bought one from a gas station) so I searched under “baseball suckers”. All that gave me were suckers shaped like baseballs. This is getting annoying …

Luckily, I’m not going to lose too much time over this because I got WILDLY distracted while looking for the name of these suckers (both literally and figuratively).

Presenting, the Taiwanese pop band, Lollipop:

I was wondering why a group of Asian boys kept showing up in my google search ...

It’s no coincidence that you can’t spell lollipop without LOL.


  1. Hilarious! I was reading the part from Balto and was like "what is that dog's name?" I rememembered before I saw the answer on here. Yay me!

    Another great post.

  2. I so vividly remember us agonizing over it. And do you remember the Balto stuffed animal I had? Gosh, I loved that toy. Did I get rid of it? It's probably locked up in the storage attic at dad's with all my chickens ...


Post a Comment