We should love each other's mothers
Last night it was brought to my attention just how repulsively lazy my husband and I are. It's fair to assume that most people come home from work every now and then so completely exhausted that they can barely manage to cram a quick meal into their pie hole before lying on the couch like a zombie for the rest of the evening. That’s to be expected. Some work days are really tough, really draining. However, unless you’re a brain surgeon, no one’s profession is strenuous enough to warrant coming home and slipping into a coma every night at 5pm … especially if you’re profession is to sit a desk all day.
Are you a logger? Sure, that makes sense. You’re risking your life in what has recently been named one of the most dangerous professions on earth. Are you a farmer? That makes sense, too. You are breaking your back daily in a physically grueling job that provides nutritionally sound food to the masses.
Are you just answering emails and munching on a baggie of rice cakes all day? You have no excuse.
Courtney and Clayton? You have no excuse.
Last night I got home from work at about 5:30pm. I somehow managed to pull on a pair of ratty sweatpants and stumbled into the kitchen to pull a bag of pre-cooked chicken alfredo from the freezer. I distinctly remember bitching up a storm to no one in particular that the company whose bag so colorfully boasted that a meal could be prepared in only 10 minutes was flat-out lying. Sure, it may take 10 minutes to heat the dish over the stove, but it was going to take at least another 5 minutes to de-thaw the frozen little baggie of sauce, a detail they so conveniently left off the package. Normally such a minute point wouldn’t be an earth-shattering issue, but come on! An extra five minutes is 50% more cooking time! But I came up with a good solution – I just dropped the chunk-o-sauce straight into the skillet and let it melt while the entire dish warmed up. It worked pretty well, although I could see there were some floating icebergs of alfredo that didn’t thaw all the way. It was like having a creamy ice cube surprise!
After all the time I spent slaving away in the kitchen, Clay and I had our meal and it wasn’t bad at all! At only five dollars for the dinner, the price was certainly worth not having to lift a finger to make it. When we were done eating, I set my bowl on the coffee table and melted into cushions of the couch, ready to watch whatever was already on the TV because I didn’t want to get up and find the remote. Then, without a word, Clayton set down his dishes, got up from his chair, and walked into the bedroom. A few minutes later I got up to see what he was doing and found him lying on the bed. “What are you doing?” I asked. “Just layin’ here,” he replied. “Okay,” I said, crawling in next to him. “Find your phone and set an alarm.”
And then we took a two hour nap.
I did not steal this.
I must admit to the general blogger public that I haven't been able to get this song out of my head for the last SIX DAYS. Justin Timberlake on SNL is like a pink basket of beagle puppies being delivered to my front door on a warm summer evening when I know I don't have to work the next day - yes, it's that amazing. I thought posting the video and watching it eleven billion times would help get the song out of my head. Nope. Only made it worse.