Octopi

Thursday, April 08, 2010

I got a little tidbit of good news today and pleasantly surprised Clayton when I came home from work relatively chipper and not wanting to stab something like normal.  The fear in his eyes dissipated, and I saw relief sweep across his face when I said, "Hi, babe!" instead of "LEAVE ME ALONE UNLESS YOU'RE FEEDING ME SOMETHING."  I think he thought it was a trap at first; I felt the hesitance in his kiss. 

This is all a huge exaggeration, by the way. I'm not really this much of a witch.  Certain circumstances during my day do emotionally and physically bog me down, but I usually perk up in the evening when I'm sitting in the recliner eating Cheez-Its.  And I don't take my bad mood out my husband ... usually.

While I was at the gym this evening sweating my day out to the Hairspray soundtrack, I realized how incredibly tolerant Clayton is.  It's always been obvious that he's a one-of-a-kind, diamond-in-the-rough kind of man with his genuine sweetness and uncanny ability to make me feel like the most divine creature on earth even when I'm wearing moldy sweatpants and a stained t-shirt (I mean, hello! I married him!), but his constant understanding and desire to make my happy never ceases to amaze me.  He knows I'm bat-sh*t crazy most days of the week, but it hasn't left him hiding in the corner chewing on his hair waiting for me to stalk off into the woods.  He wants to help me overcome my problems.  He wants me to succeed. He is a contender.

One of the things I value most about him and I is our ability to really understand each other's needs.  We've discussed it a bit in the past and had the "Hey, what can I do to make you happier short of buying you a puppy farm?" convo, but for the most part, I think we're pretty clued in on how to respond to each other's meltdowns (not like Clayton has any.)

When I call him on my way home from work and tell him I've had a terrible day, he knows exactly what to do. (I don't even really have to tell him anymore. The sky suddenly turns black and winged monkeys fly ahead of my car to warn him of the impending doom.)  I'll open the front door to find that he's cleaning up the kitchen and has already started dinner ... and stashed booze in the fridge for me.  That's love.

In turn, when he calls me on his way home from work and tells me that he's had a frustrating day, I know exactly what to do.  He'll open the front door to find ... me naked.

I practiced my guitar in front of the tv tonight while watching the "Life" series on the Discovery Channel.  Tonight's episode was about the ocean.  As I was strumming away to the Beatles I happened to innocently look up at the screen just in time to see a giant octopus lurching and squelching across our 32 inch tv screen, all 8 legs bugging out in 8 different, ungodly directions. 

If there is anything you ever need to know about me, it is the following:

  • I love dogs and puppies way more than most normal people should
  • I can eat my weight in rainbow sorbet
  • I want desperately to be BFFs with Kelly Clarkson
  • I'm deatlhy afraid of squids and octopus' (octopi?) and my biggest fear is that one will hunt me down and wrap its tentacles around my face while I'm asleep
I've watched many documentaries about the giant squid and watched that stupid made-for-tv movie The Beast like 600 times.  Why would I do that to myself? I have no idea. Maybe I secretly believe that if I collect a big enough arsenal of facts about the architeuthidae, I will be prepared should ever need to go to battle against one.  For example, did you know that the octopus has camoflage capabilities and can blend into its surroundings to avoid detection?  That's brilliant information if I'm ever snorkling or ... out in the woods at night alone.

And no, the fact that squids and octopus' can't survive outside of water has absolutely no bearing on this irrational fear.

I was going to post a picture of something squid-related to illustrated this one-sided conversation, but I couldn't bring myself to google images of it. I just couldn't do it. Not if I wanted to sleep tonight or ... live.  So here's something way cuter than a giant squid eating my face.

You Might Also Like

0 comments

Navigation-Menus (Do Not Edit Here!)