Bugs in my hair

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Owl City’s song “Fireflies” makes me aggressive. According to Dane Cook, “Fireflies” would be classified as the sound that “makes me want to punch a baby”. (Second only to the sound of sour cream. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, just open a container and stir it a few times. Squelchy). But, since I don’t condone hitting in public, the only way I can properly take out my anger on cliché, Indie-electronic-pop is to turn the radio off and blog about it.



The lyrics are completely asinine. I consider myself pretty well educated in the English language, and I’m a big fan of provoking, metaphorical lyrics, but this song takes Emo to the extreme and regurgitates it as whimsical garbage:

“’Cause I’d get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they tried to teach me how to dance”

If ten thousand lightning bugs were “dancing” around my head, the aftermath would be ten thousand dead lightning bugs littering the floor.

And later:

“But I’ll know where several are
If my dreams get real bizarre
‘Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar”

Does this guy realize what happens to lightning bugs that are kept in a jar over night? No, probably not. He’s too busy having a disco with insects. Boy, he’s gonna be sorry when he wakes up in the morning.

Kids, this song is about MURDER.

I feel so disheartened by music on the radio today. Everyone’s trying too hard. All the bands sound the same, all the songs are identical (just insert whatever bug you choose in the song-writing formula) and blend together to form one super nova of craptastic music I’m not gonna listen to.

Just give me my Backstreet Boys, N’SYNC, 98 Degrees, O-Town, New Kids on the Block, FIVE, Westlife, and Boyz 2 Men.

*****
On an unrelated note, I’m severely bothered by people who type in all caps. It happens to me at work all the time. I feel like they’re yelling at me. I don’t care how polite you’re actually being, making your letters all tall and menacing gives me the impression that you’re angry (or over-compensating for something else entirely).

THE WEATHER IS SO BEAUITUL TODAY. THE SUNSHINE ON MY FACE FEELS LIKE THE KISSES OF ANGELS. I REALLY LIKE YOUR HAIR TODAY, DID I MENTION THAT? IT LOOKS PRETTY AND REALLY HIGHLIGHTS YOUR LOVELY CHEEKBONES. I THINK YOU’RE A STAND-UP INDIVIDUAL WHO WILL SUCCEED AT ANYTHING YOU TRY. I VALUE YOU AS A PERSON.

Gosh, alright! I’ll file that report. GEEZE.

*****
But today isn't all about whining.  We had our first thunderstorm of the season at the wee hours of 7:00 am this morning.  I spotted lightning on the horizon as I left the gym and was instantly hit with the distant memories of wet, green grass and worms on the sidewalk.
 
Soon spring, soon.

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2 comments

  1. HAHAHAHAHA! Man I hate that song too. I complain about it all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It would appear that, after careful scrutiny of your blog (and especially your clearly warranted hatred of this atrocious song!), you are, in fact, my long lost blog bestie and that I shall read you way more (in the non creepy way!). Haha Seriously, though, this song makes me want to gauge the singer's eyes out. Repeatedly. With blunt objects. Good call on the murder thing.

    ReplyDelete

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