Blog Every Day in May, Day 21: My favorite posts

Oh, thank heavens! An easy-ish writing topic today. Not that I'm complaining, but I was up too late drinking and my brain is on the fritz. Forming complete sentences today, I cannot.

I've been writing Notably Neurotic since, erm, 2009? No, that can't be right. I'd be way too down on myself if I've been at this for 5 years and STILL don't have much to show for it.

*checks archives*

DANGIT! I HAVE BEEN AT THIS FOR 5 YEARS.

Well, there you have it. Good thing I haven't quit my job in order to pursue blogging full-time. Geeze.

Anyway, I've been writing this blog for 5 years and that means that I'm bound to dump out a few decent posts every now and then. Not all blog posts can be gems, but sometimes I can't help but sit back at my computer with a smug sense of self-satisfaction because darn it, I just OWNED that post.

I find that my modest group of readers responds equally positive to my more serious posts as they do to my more ridiculous, nonsensical ones. I like that my blog doesn't have a specific niche. I tried to do the whole "I'm a health and wellness blogger!" but I bored myself to tears writing about the same kinds of things repeatedly and it only fed into my some of my eating issues. This blog is all over the place. Kind of like me.

Some of my favs/more popular posts on Notably Neurotic:

Why I Quit Taking Beyaz is still my most popular post to date, averaging a few hundred hits daily (and I wrote it almost 3 years ago)! Clearly I wasn't the only woman who suffered whilst popping that particular baby prevention pill and the post's high numbers prove that I'm not the only person who obsessively searches the Internet for medical advice. I've been all but banned from logging into WebMD.

Fart-inducing Taco Dip ranks high on my list of favorites, too. I don't do a lot of recipe posts because I find them to be mostly boring and I'm not all that imaginative (i.e. I basically regurgitate recipes I already know with a few variations), but I like writing them. This one was fun. And it's still a fantastic recipe.

I wrote Apparently I Have A Lot of Feelings on the Victoria's Secret 2011 Holiday Fashion Show during a weak moment when I let my love of carbs make me feel inferior to super models.

I received a lot of positive feedback in regards to my Mean Girls post. This post is one of my personal favorites because it reflects my true writing style and allowed me to speak on a very publicized topic that seems to plague my gender.

I can admit it: Sometimes I think I'm hilarious. Re-reading My Strange Addiction: Licks Cats still makes me giggle.

My relationship with Clayton is my absolute favorite thing to write about, and regaling the Internet with stories of our marriage brings me SO MUCH JOY. The Small Matter of a Scrunchy encompasses so much of what goes on between us.

The World's Worst Study Buddy, too.

I also love my Mini Marathon Recap, a post detailing my very first half marathon in October 2010. Re-reading that post is just a sweet reminder of where I started and how far I've come. I mostly like how I clearly noted I was so proud of myself for finishing my FIRST half marathon. Even then I knew I was the start of something good ... :)

Which Notably Neurotic posts are your favorites? (Stroke my ego, please.)

Blog Every Day in May, Day 20: Something I'm struggling with

*blows noise-maker and throws confetti into the air*

HAPPY MONDAY!

^^Fake it til' you make it, right? Maybe if I start throwing Mondays a big ol' party, they'll seem less horrible.

I did a lot of this on Sunday.

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty nice! It was so nice that I completely disregarded the Blog Every Day in May weekend challenges. I know, I know. Shame on me. But really, I couldn't locate the photograph I wanted to use to illustrate my post for Saturday (which was "share a story from your childhood". I had a great little soliloquy lined up about the time I was dressed as a bumble bee for Insect Week in preschool and got diarrhea and had to go home. But neither my mom or I could locate the photo of me in said costume and everyone knows that unless you have photographic evidence, it didn't really happen. Why I chose a story such as that to share, I have no idea. Trust me, I have plenty of happy childhood memories that don't include defecating in an insect suit. I guess I just wanted to tell you the story because I made a really cute bee.)

Sunday's writing prompt was to gush about your five favorite blogs. *Yawn* No thank you. I love tons of blogs and narrowing it down to 5 feels tedious and like I'm majorly picking favorites ... and homie don't play that.

But today's writing prompt? Sure, why not. I can let you in on a little bit of the ugly going on inside this brain of mine.

Day 20, Monday: Get real.
Share something you're struggling with right now.

Oh, honey, I am about to get SO REAL.

I'm a planner by nature. I can't even go into the grocery store without a detailed list of everything I need to buy, grouped by meal and categorized by aisle. Tossing grocery items into my cart all willy-nilly makes me sweaty and gives me a horrible feeling of not being in control.

That being said, I've made a lot of plans for my life. I've never approached my future with a "We'll just see what happens!" attitude. No way. Eff that. Remember when I shared how terrified I am of having regrets? That fear plays a major role in my obsessive need to always have a plan. I want all of my bases covered, I don't want to leave any stones unturned.

My plan after college was to become a big shot creative director at a lucrative advertising agency, but after I learned that working in the advertising business sucks up all of your time and your soul, I had to recalculate. My nasty experience in advertising may have been devastating at the time, but it ultimately revealed that my true passion was writing and a new plan was born.

Clayton and I have talked extensively about our future and our plan was for him to finish school and land a decent-paying job that would allow me the luxury to be a freelance writer whilst pimping out my personal essays and short stories. Our ultimate goal was for Clayton to have a career he loves so that I could stay home to write and raise our children.

We also talked about starting a family around the time I turn 30.

For you math whizzes out there, 30 is only about 2 and a half years away. And guess what? Clayton isn't any closer to deciding what he wants to do with his career and I'm not any closer to making a living off of my writing (though every little bit from my freelancing projects has helped).

It's not for a lack of try on either of our ends. No sir! Clayton and I are hard workers; we don't believe in hand-outs. I'm not the kind of chick who sits by idly and expects opportunities to just drop in my lap.

The reality of the world we're living in is that it's not easy to do what you want to do. Just because you want something doesn't mean it's possible, no matter how hard you try to get it. The economy sucks. Jobs, especially the kind that coincide with what Clayton wants to do and pay well, are very few and far between. We don't have the luxury to go without money for the sake of pursuing a dream. A few recent occurrences has all but flipped Clayton's career aspirations upside down and we both feel like we're back at square one.

And that's what I've been struggling with. It seems like my carefully thought-out plans may not be so. When I worked exclusively from home a few years back, I had never been happier. The home had never been cleaner. I'd never felt more organized or relaxed. I never felt more fulfilled. And I want that again.

And honestly, it makes me both angry and sad. I'm sad because I might not get the life I really wanted for myself and I'm angry for the same reasons because goodness know, we are TRYING. My dream was to write and be a stay-at-home wife until the time came to pop out a few little ones. Then I would be fortunate enough to be with them during the day until they were old enough to go to school.
As Clayton said while we were out walking the dog after dinner last night, "You never know what can happen in 2 years." And he's absolutely right. We have no idea what is in store for us or what God has in mind. We only know that it's going to happen exactly as it's supposed to happen. And for the girl who likes have a plan at all times, that is torture.

Perhaps the new plan should be getting comfortable with not having a plan?

What are you struggling with right now?

Blog Every Day in May, Day 17: Your favorite picture of yourself

Day 17, Friday: A favorite photo of yourself and why

This photo has to be my absolute favorite picture of myself. It seems a bit vain to like a picture of your own face, but I honestly don't think I've ever seen myself looking cuter (AND MY HAIR HAS NEVER LOOKED THICKER) or  happier. When I die, this is the picture I want displayed next to my casket.

Not this one:

Okay, back to the good photo.

This picture was taken by my beloved husband on our very third day of being husband and wife. It was snapped just after sunset on the balcony of our hotel room in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We were on our honeymoon and the wave of emotions sweeping over me that entire week could only be described as euphoria. From the ceremony to the reception to waking up together that first morning as an official married couple to venturing out of the country to spend time alone on a beautiful beach with my soul mate—it was all breathtaking and beautiful.

When Clayton and I get lost in reminiscing, as couples are wont to do, I always find myself repeating the same sentiments. I will never, ever in a billion lifetimes forget how I felt when I woke up on the morning after our wedding. I rolled over on the scratchy white sheets in the hotel room, looked at the sleeping man who I could now call my husband and was overcome with joy. Never in my life had I ever wanted anything more badly than to make a life with this man and now that the time was finally here, the moment was really real, I couldn't even comprehend it. 

That's what this photo captured for me (that and a BANGIN' tan). It captured all of that anticipation, contentment and joy. I can't look at this picture and NOT smile because it feels like just yesterday. Even four and half years later, I still find myself feeling giddy that I'm Clayton's wife.

I hope you have a very happy Friday!

Blog Every Day in May, Day 16: my lot in life

Day 16, Thursday: Something difficult about your "lot in life"
and how you're working to overcome it.

My response to today's writing prompt may not be a popular one, but I was never popular in school. So it makes sense.

When I saw that the Blog Every Day in May participants were tasked with writing about their "lot in life", I admittedly had the urge to just take the humorous route. I tossed around the idea of writing about how my lot in life is to be devastatingly gorgeous, but I don't want to rub it in or make anyone feel jealous (I kid, I kid).

My initial instinct to be funny about this topic actually stems from my inherent belief that saying you have a "lot in life" is one of the most infuriating, annoying things another human can possibly say. To say "Well, to be/have [insert troublesome thing here] is just my lot in life" is a staggering statement of resignation.

To me, a "lot" implies a burden and accepting something as your "lot" is an excuse for complacency. "Lot in life" is an idiom dripping with self-pity.

The only thing that saves this writing prompt is the instruction to discuss how you're working to overcome your supposed "lot in life". However, that sentence is confusing. Why would you work to overcome something that you're complacent with?

Like any other red-blooded human out there, I've been dealt a few bad cards in my life. I'm the child of divorce, I'm been verbally and emotionally abused by a loved one, and I experienced a very tumultuous, broken adolescence and young adulthood. Are those my lots in life? Are those my burdens? Are those my excuses to be emotionally dormant and harbor bitterness or anger? 

I don't see it that way.

I feel like a pretty resilient little creature. If I get knocked down, be rest assured I'll be all Chumbawamba about it and get up again.

But I won't be pissing the night away because even 16 years later, I'm still not entirely sure what that means.

Bad things should never ever define us. They're circumstantial; they will pass. What matters is how you rise above the challenges and how you let it effect your heart.

The Great Gatsby movie, a small review

 

This week I saw The Great Gatsby and it. was. awesome! I forwent my hubby's softball game on Tuesday night so my friend Brittany and I could see the movie, and I was vibrating with excitement as we entered the theater. We wanted to get there extra early to be sure we got good seats, but that proved to be a moot point because there were maybe 10 people in the entire theater. Oops. Oh well.

I finished re-reading the book just a few weeks ago, so the entire story was fresh on my mind and I was bursting at the seems to see how director Baz Luhrmann would interpret the lavish party scenes at Gatsby's mansion.

The Roaring Twenties? Luhrmann NAILED it (not like I was actually around for the 1920s, but still). I think I had goosebumps for the first 30 minutes of the movie. 

In all honesty, I'm not the biggest fan of the book. I think the characters are underdeveloped, shallow and I don't think Gatsby was presented without any real redeeming qualities. However, the movie made me fall in cinema-tically in love with him and his unshakeable hope (then again, it WAS Leonardo DiCaprio. Not a hard man to love.), and the story felt much more romantic with the stunning visuals and the actors' passion.

Some critics have said the film makes a mockery of the book, but I have to disagree. I never understood why The Great Gatsby is revered as such a classic because it's kind of a droll, boring read. The movie added life to the characters that Fitzgerald's words didn't. (In my humble opinion.)

I loved the movie so much, I wanted to throw up. I literally wanted to expel all of the contents of my stomach in order to make more room for love for Gatsby. 

And if anything, watch the movie for the soundtrack. Jack White, Jay-Z and Lana Del Ray—oh my! 

Have you seen the movie? What did you think?