I'm pretty sure I said this last week, but this is officially the longest I've gone without posting.
And I think it's fair to say that I've been busy. Clay and I have softball multiple nights a week, plus I'm teaching and somehow around all of that we have to work in regular home responsibilities, working out and spending time together ... and this is all after working for 8 hours during the day.
But I hate complaining about that. I hate our culture's glorification of busy, like we're all in a deranged competition to see who can stretch themselves the thinnest. Honestly, I hate being busy. It stresses me out. Last Wednesday, I rushed home from work to gather my materials for class and as I was driving back into town to teach, I remembered that after class I had to go back home to get my clothes for the gym and then drive back to the gym and realized I wouldn't get to sit down and eat dinner until after 10 o'clock ...
... and I started to cry.
It's a stupid thing to cry about because no one feels any sympathy for you. You did this to yourself and guess what? Everyone else is doing the same thing and everyone else is just as tired. You're not special or especially overworked. You're just a normal person doing shitty, normal adult things and if anything, you're just being a bigger wuss about it.
It's also pretty fair to say that I've been feeling a little depressed over the past few months. When I was seeing a therapist a few years back, she told me that I have random bouts of depression that can oftentimes be blamed on my genetic makeup. You don't always need a reason to feel depressed, sometimes it just happens thanks to your good ol' DNA and the way your brain chemicals work. The good news is that I can normally recognize when this is happening and tell myself, "You don't have any reason to feel depressed" and pull myself out of it rather quickly.
And I can usually recognize when it's happening because I suddenly lose interest in absolutely everything but sleeping. I can't focus on anything and have zero motivation to do the things I love most ... like run and write (though I at least manage to run because I'd be be homicidal without those exercise endorphins). I also become Mrs. Cranky Pants because I'm so frustrated with myself for feeling so sad when everything's perfectly okay.
But that's not saying I haven't had any fun. I've had lots, actually.
We recently attended the Hairbanger's Ball with my dear friend Brittany and her boyfriend and learned that I am strangely attracted to middle-aged men wearing blonde wigs, pleather and purple eyeliner.
We took Clay's father to an Indianapolis Indians game as a Father's Day present on Monday night. We are a family who loves their baseball (and stadium hotdogs).
And Clay, Ashley, Chris and I got muddy for a second year a row at the Warrior Dash last weekend. It's been raining for what seems like the last month, so this year the course was EXTRA muddy. These "after" pics don't do the race justice because by this point we'd already jumped into a pond to clean off.
Better still, Clay and I are leaving tomorrow afternoon for a 4th of July road trip to Chicago with Dan and Emily. Part of our journey includes a stop at Shedd Aquarium and I don't think I could possibly be any more excited. That place holds a very special place in my heart and I'm looking forward to visiting it again. And could anything be better than fireworks on Navy Pier?
I hope you're all doing well and we'll catch up again soon. Promise.